The Return of the Bionic Woman

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I feel like John Travolta in Grease. We had a great time together, you and I, Bionic Woman. It was a magical interlude that I’ll never forget. It’s just…I never thought I’d see you again.

And now you’re back, from outer space. This is the week the TV networks do their “upfronts,” which means they announce-slash-pimp-to-media their fall shows, and NBC has The Bionic Woman on its fall schedule. Quoth they:

Struggling as a bartender and surrogate mom to her teen-aged sister, Jaime Sommers didn’t think life could get much harder. But when a devastating car accident leaves her at death’s door, Jaime’s only hope of survival is through a cutting-edge, top-secret technology that comes at a hefty price.

With a whole new existence and a debt to repay, Jaime must figure out how to use her extraordinary abilities for good, while weighing the personal sacrifices she will have to make. Ultimately, it’s Jaime’s journey of self-discovery and inner strength that will help her embrace her new life as…The Bionic Woman.

So…yeah. From this, and the various clips on NBC’s site — which I’m having decidedly mixed results playing with their hinky homegrown video player (which I can’t even embed here! why won’t they just give up and love YouTube?) — it feels like they’ve gone and hybridized her with La Femme Nikita, for added “darkness,” and tossed in some human-interest bits in the hope of snagging crossover female viewers. (And they seem to have re-spelled Jamie Sommers as “Jaime,” too — what is that, a subliminal bid for Hispanic geeks?)

Could be great. Probably it’s just Aeon Flux all over again. Oh well — we’ll always have the summer of ’76. Maybe they’ll throw Lindsay Wagner a cameo as an aging but still comely fembot.

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