My name’s Matt Selman. I write for The Simpsons. Well, I used to. (Strike!) Time.com has awesomely offered me a gig co-blogging on Nerd World. The other guy, Lev Grossman, seems pretty good at it so far. Lev is an actual journalist. He’s intelligent and funny and drinks four big glasses of wine at expense-account dinners. So why did they ask me to post on Nerd World? Because my friend who gave me this gig thinks I am a giant nerd. Now, I’m not the nerdiest geek in the dorkiverse, but my credentials are solid.
Here’s a few excepts from my Nerd C.V.:
1982 — Named pet mouse “Colossus,” after the organic steel X-Man of the same name
1983-4 — Only physical activity: “Kangaroo” on the Atari 5200
1984-1989 — Most-worn T-shirt: “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Bill and Opus”
1986-89 — Played “Wizardry” with my father on a Macintosh SE/30. (I would fight the monsters, he would “map” the levels.)
1992 — During a game of Trivial Pursuit, after a question to which the correct answer was “Batman,” I argued that the person who (correctly) said “Batman” was wrong, because Batman’s real name is “The Batman.” I was not kidding.
1995-1999, 2001-2002, 2004-2007 — San Diego ComiCon Attendee / Panelist
1998 — Opening day attendee of “The Star Trek Experience” ride at the Las Vegas Hilton. Afterwards, drank “Tranya” in Quark’s Bar and Restaurant with a guy who has a full-scale model of Han Solo in carbonite in his living room, except with the guy’s face, not Solo’s.
1999-present — Ragged, asymmetrical beard
2000 — Girlfriend said she thought Superman got his super powers from Kryptonite, “you know, like Popeye and spinach.” (Married her anyway.)
As you can see, I’m a mid-level, journeyman nerd. A seven on a scale of one to Lev Grossman. My posts will be nerdy, I assure you. Will my posts be self-indulgent? Probably a seven on a scale of one to every other blog in the universe. Will they be funny? Not if I have to write one every day. Which… I do.
(Note: Amazingly, my Microsoft Word spellcheck apparently doesn’t know the word “blog.” Update: Word spellcheck also doesn’t know the word “spellcheck.”)