I, Whore

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At Nerd World, there’s a very real mandate to inform the world of nerds about major events in the world of nerd-dom. Well, on Sunday November 18, at 8 PM on Fox, a major nerd event is about to rock your nerd world. An episode of The Simpsons will air, titled “Husbands and Knives,” that has the most inside comic book references of any television show ever.


And that episode is written by me.

Here comes the defensiveness: yes, I’m telling you to watch something I wrote. Guess what? I’m not a journalist. Or even a real critic. I detest accountability. I’m just an on-strike Hollywood jackass trying to write mildly amusing prose. (My technique: put the jokes in parentheses.) I am NOT objective.

But — OBJECTIVELY — this show is great. There are references in the first act of this thing you never thought you’d see on Adult Swim at three in the morning, let alone on Fox during prime time. Here’s a taste of what you’ll get: the guest voices are Art Spiegelman, Alan Moore, and Dan Clowes. DAN CLOWES? On network TV??? How the Hell did we pull that off? Fox doesn’t want Alan Moore, they want Mandy Moore. Hell, they would rather have Mighty Mouse than the author of Maus. (At least Mighty Mouse is cute and doesn’t talk about 9/11.) Scoring these indie comic book mega-talents to be in a regular TV show for regular people is a F-ing miracle! And that’s just the tip of the nerd-berg! That’s all I’m going to say. No spoiler alert is powerful enough to protect your pants from the nerd-splort of dork porn we crammed into this show.

More defensiveness: do you think I feel good about hyping my own product like this? I don’t. Remember, I’m on strike. I’m all about the WGA. I don’t cross the picket line. I carried a sign for 27.8 miles last week. (Talk to my pedometer, bitch!) The last thing I want is for Fox to cash in on this episode with huge ratings. I want to stick it to the man.

But — as a journalist, I’m accountable to the public trust. I must inform my audience of significant events which will effect their lives. And that audience, is nerds. Nerds who need to know that density of superhero, graphic novel, manga… (SPOILER ALERT)… James Bond, Archie, Wolverine and even Hergé — THAT’S RIGHT, HERG F-ING É — jokes in The Simpsons episode “Husbands and Knives” airing Sunday November 18th at 8 PM on Fox will make their nerdy heads explode!

You have a right to know.

(Guilty link: http://www.unitedhollywood.com)