Nerd Archives — 1983

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The following is an unedited transcription of one of Matt Selman’s actual seventh grade homework assignments.

I would like to meet…

I would like to meet Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams for three reasons.

Zaphod has three arms and two heads. I think it would be interesting to meet someone with three arms and two heads who has been 5,000,000 light years away from Earth. I could ask him how far the Universe actually goes and who is, if anyone, the ruler of the Universe.

Another reason I would like to meet Zaphod is that I could ask him, “What is it like to have to always disagreeing heads, and on which side is your third arm?”

The last reason I would like to meet him is that Zaphod could show me all around the Universe, and we could go to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

And that is why I would like to meet Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Teacher’s comment: A good choice of topic. Your reasoning is very clear.