Gotham City Family Court
Commissioner James Gordon
The Plaintiff above named, complaining of the Defendant herein, alleges and states as follows:
1) The parties hereto are husband and wife. Throughout the marriage, the Plaintiff has been a faithful wife and loving mother of their son and daughter.
2) In 2008, the Defendant was shot by a man dressed as a Joker (hereafter “Joker”) while attempting to save the mayor’s life. A policeman arrived at the couple’s shared residence and informed the Plaintiff the Defendant was dead, while a man dressed as a bat (hereafter “Bat-Man”) crouched guiltily in the shadows.
3) Days later, the Defendant revealed to the Plaintiff that he was not dead, and had only pretended to have been killed. This cruel ruse induced grave emotional distress in the Plaintiff.
4) Soon after that, a man with half a normal face, and half an eyeball and skull face (hereafter “Two-Face”) kidnapped her, her son and her daughter. Two-Face then flipped a two-sided silver dollar to decide which of the family would live and which would die.
5) Plaintiff seeks divorce from the Defendant on the grounds of his having drawn their family into a grotesque menagerie of demented psychopaths, as well making her party to a tiresome discussion of becoming that which you seek to destroy.
6) Plaintiff seeks possession of the couple’s shared residence, and a monthly allowance such that the Plaintiff may maintain a lifestyle commensurate with that of the wife of a Police Commissioner, and shared custody of the Bat-Signal.