PUCK
Eugene Milton Judd
Overcompensating dwarf
Will punch you in nuts
SASQUATCH
Big, strong and fuzzy
More than just an orange Hulk
Talks smart not dumb
NORTHSTAR
First gay superguy
Uses power to speed-date
Wear super condom!
AURORA
So sexy, could have
Any man, but only wants
Her gay twin brother
GUARDIAN
Canada hero
Wears dumb maple leaf costume
Why country so lame?