The Scream Awards Awards

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I was in the audience for tonight’s taping of Spike TV’s Scream Awards, “celebrating comics, fantasy, sci-fi and horror.” It’s a fun show, much more entertaining than the 6000 other award shows I’ve been to. Here are my awards for things that happened at the show itself.

LOUDEST AUDIENCE JEER: Clip of Shia LeBoeuf from “Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.”

BROTHERS WHO HAVE MOST DIFFERENT ACCENTS: Christopher Nolan and Jonathan Nolan, for British and American.

WINNIE THE POOH-EST ARRIVAL: Tim Burton, in basket held aloft by several giant balloons, terrified.

MOST RESTRAINT SHOWED BY AUDIENCE OF DRUNK, GOTH-Y DUDES HOLDING LIGHTSTICKS: Not one drunk goth-y dude threw a lightstick at George Lucas.

GUY WHO CARED THE MOST WHETHER IRON MAN WON FOR “BEST SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE”: Guy sitting behind me. “It has to be Iron Man. Has to. It’s gotta. Totally. Iron Man!!!”

EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW WITH LEAST NEW FOOTAGE OF “WATCHMEN”: Exclusive preview of “Watchmen.”