Listen up ya heels! Dis is da Blob talkin, and youse gonna listen — or I’ll bust ya right in chops! Look, I may be an evil mutant, but I aint no chump. I know that George W. Bush was worse for this country than Magneto and Mister Sinister put together. This immovable mutant is an Obama man, all the way — Barack is the real homo superior.
And when Obama won the election, I was so happy I cried, tears landing in my comically large ice cream sundae. Just like a dame I was with the waterworks. But now, two weeks later, I feel empty. I feel… depressed.
It’s weird. After eight years of Bush, feeling like democracy was a sham, and the country had lost its mind, you grow hard to the world. You gird yourself for the worst — so you won’t be hurt by the next Republican crime against humanity.
But now, it’s tough. I thought everything would be different now. But the world hasn’t changed. It’s still messed-up. How do you let yourself feel again? Sure, all those Obama posters said “hope.” But to let yourself hope is to let yourself be hurt. And I don’t know if I can take that again.
Okay, ya bums! Shut your stinkin’ traps! Da Blob got stuck in a pity puddle! What of it? Obama’s gonna kick ass in da White House! And we’s all gonna work hard to make this country great again! Or you’re gonna get a poundin from da Blob!!!
(And one more thing! I already gave my maximum $4600 smackeroos (from me and the Toad) to the Obama campaign! Now that he’s won, why do I still get emails askin’ for more money! Of all the noive!)