DISTRICT 9, Johannesburg (AP) — In the wake of its recent Nigerian ban, the film District 9 has also been banned in District 9. Citing images of the district’s alien inhabitants as “filthy, violent, cat food-eating bug-monsters,” Hive Drone Overseer Prime Martin Anderson forbid the film’s showing within the perimeter of the penned-off home of the alien settlers.
“Did you see how awful they made us look,” said Martin. “Like all we do is feast on garbage and satisfy our urges with Earth prostitutes. There is so much more to our species than that.” Anderson cited the recent works of alien poetry, such as “Cat Food Yummy Always Eat,” “Mate and Kill Earth Prostitute” and “Call Me Prawn Big Boy I Drink Your Blood Ha Ha Big Joke You See” as evidence that the stranded aliens have a rich culture stemming from the injustice of their imprisonment. “It makes me sick that humans are showing movies like ‘District 9,’ when we have our own, indigenous film scene,” he added, citing the locally-produced Trash Hump on MNU Corpse Pile and Julie and Julia and Crotch Rags as two uplifting stories with themes of understanding and empowerment.
The one positive message the aliens have found in the film District 9 is the depiction of the local Nigerian gangsters. “They got that part right,” said Anderson. “Those guys are bad news. Do not mess with those murderous voodoo cannibal pimps. For real.”