Ninja Nuisance Can No Longer Be Ignored

Yesterday a Brooklyn man was attacked by a neighbor wielding a samurai sword. The man apparently escaped with cuts on his head and hands, despite a chorus of onlookers chanting “finish him, finish him!”

This is hardly an isolated incident. Ninja attacks are on the rise. Last month a burglar who invaded a Baltimore home was killed by a Hopkins student wielding a samurai sword. And in Canada — Canada — two men were attacked by an assailant wearing a glove to which he had attached three-pointed blades. The attacker reportedly said, “I am Death.” Fortunately he was not Death, and the two men survived with light wounds.

That proves it. As we say in the magazine world, three examples make a trend. It also proves that I should probably leave the pastiche humor to Selman.

Related Topics: death, ninjas, topical humor, News
  • http://youtube.com/churchhatestucker Church

    Wow. I better get one of these. Just, y’know, in case.

    http://www.yourprops.com/view_item.php?movie_prop=12230

  • alaskanturkey

    Spaghetti Time!

  • dennitzio

    A few years ago, I was in bed when I heard a noise in our house. Some Bruce Lee instinct took over and I vaulted out of bed, over my pregnant wife, and grabbed the only weapon nearby – a crappy katana I bought in Japan years ago. All in one move. It was kinda nifty. Anyway, false alarm, but my wife decided that was so cool that she put the thing right next to my side of the bed, you know, just in case I ever need to Hassan-chop somebody.

    I suspect it’s actually ironic.

  • tereglith

    I’m really enjoying the BSG stuff now. You’re getting more creative. Keep up the good work.

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