Disappointments of the Decade: The Master List

I get that I’m in a very tiny minority here when I say that the very existence of the Lord of the Rings movies is a disappointment in and of itself. Yes, on their own terms, Peter Jackson’s movies are exciting and fun, but in terms of the themes Tolkien intended to impart on his readers? The movies don’t even hint at what Tolkien intended with his books, and it makes me sad that the world will now be raised thinking they understand the Lord of the Rings, because of the movies.

Hmm. I read the Lord of the Rings 20 years prior to the movies, have read Tolkien’s Letters and multiple biographies, and I’m very happy that the movies exist. Not only do I think that the movies conveyed the essential themes of the books, I think that the idea that the existence of an alternate version of a story somehow threatens the legacy of the original is ridiculous.

My biggest nerdly disappointment of the decade: NerdWorld/Techland’s continued shafting of the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica.
A close second: the change in flavor from Nerd World to Techland- not as advertised.

aw shucks, that’s awfully kind of you.

But who exactly is shafting BSG? I just received the screeners for “Caprica,” we’re totally psyched that the BSG universe is moving forward. We’re trying to figure out interviews right now, in advance of the 1/22 return. Lots of love for BSG here, anon.

And that would be the aforementioned change in flavor.

Hmm- I’ll believe it when I reads it. Having just perused the top ten list of starships, and having seen nary a mention of the beloved bucket (though I did see the 1978 viper made the alternate list), I remain unconvinced. I will say that I do not yet have the hang of navigating the Techland wilds of yet- it could vert well be that there is a link to an otherwise hidden realm of BSG love, and I will one day stumble upon it. I’ll refer to this (as yet) hypothetical link as BSGarnia.

mimsysnark, I really hope you haven’t been carrying that around for the past 8 years. I’m sorry if you have. You would live a hard, terrifying life.

I am not trying to add the the idea that Techland hates BSG, I don’t have any reason to believe that yet, but after buying the Caprica DVD and watching it twice, I still don’t know if it’s good or not.

Looking forward to your interview Peter!

My favorite Battlefield Earth moment is a scene near the end when the humans have begun fighting the Psychlos, and one of them says, “They’re coming fast!” The camera pans to the giant Psychlos characters, and they are walking… in slow motion.

I wouldn’t have put it on a Most Disappointing list though. Everyone knew it was going to suck.

Before I start my modest rant, I should like to say that I did not think it was humanely possible to ever, ever top the infamous “You stupid, STUPID earthlings!” line from “Plan 9 from Outer Space” until I saw just a clip from “Battlefield: Earth.” This is actually relevant since I did not think it even remotely possible for the rest of human history to sink below that until I saw “Star Wars Episode 3: Attack of the Clones.”

Mr. Grossman states his ire for The Clone Wars: “Because it completes the arc of George Lucas from a writer of stories about humans and emotions to a VFX coordinator, passing off digital battle sequences as something awe-inspiring. Because it suggests that not only did Lucas not realize Jar Jar Binks was the worst part of his new trilogy; he probably wanted more Jar Jar.”

Excuse me, but when was Emperor Lucatine ever a writer of stories about humans and emotions? He farmed that out ages ago. The one film that saved the franchise’s collective ass was “The Empire Strikes Back” and Lucas didn’t, thankfully, have a hand in either writing or directing it. Just as Rod Serling’s initial first treatment of Pierre Boulle’s novella kept the original screen adaptation of “Planet of the Apes” safe from being too violated by the chauffeur-driven anal-rententives of Hollywood, so too did they go to some humble old schooler to craft a that rare gem the bulletproof sequel. That person was Leigh Brackett, one of the silver age science-fiction and fantasty writers who was a pioneer of the space opera genre, and we are fortunate she took Lucas’ bare-bones ideas and made them work shortly before her death from cancer in 1978 (ironically she passed away just as announcements in STARLOG with Brackett prominently featured went to press). TESB stands out as the best of the 6 if only because it shows what can be accomplished when you have someone who knows what they are doing at the helm. Oddly enough, Lucasfilm has legally intervened to prevent the original screenplay from ever being published although it can be read privately at the college to which Brackett’s estate bequeathed the manuscript.

I put this all down to emphasize that I am not some frothingly rabid cynic who despises the franchise. I am a frothingly rabid sardonic who sees it as a benign growth that mestastasized beyond all reason. I was perfectly content to see SW for what it was originally, a pastiche hommage to all the media sci-fi/fantasy done 50 years prior, including such obvious literary references as Lord of the Rings and Dune. The latter I am absolutely convinced was Lucas’ original intent to adapt but the horrendous option battles made it a hot potato that like LOTR will defy any definitive adaptation outside its original literary format. And I am of the opinion that all the quasi-religious/mythology allegory affixed to it was a deliberate afterthought and brilliant marketing ploy, underscoring some boundaries that even Gene Roddenberry with his Star Trek franchise would not dare cross.

In that vein, George Lucas showed that he ultimately is either unwilling or unable to do right by the very characters he creates. I am only thankful that I saw Attack of the Clones on video in a private inn as I was so incensed by what went across the screen, I would have done serious damage if it had been my own property. When Anakin make his candid and petulant confession about his genocide of the Tusken village, Amidala’s response of “Anakin, being angry makes you human,” made me want to drop kick the television set into Lucas’ pool, preferably with all his kids in it as well. I had heard that Terry Brooks broke his contract to adapt the prequels when handed the screenplay of AOTC, saying it was crap that he couldn’t make work. If true, that’s saying something and one of the biggest hacks in the fantasy genre has earned my grudging respect. Jar Jar Binks is just the tip of the iceberg with just how badly these characters have been treated. When a Marvel Comics spin-off on Darth Maul makes him look respectable as a villain, the original Clone Wars cartoon by Genndy Tartakovsky show more emotion and feeling than flesh and blood characters, and the scores of fan fic written to ameliorate the mess actually make these characters worth caring about, something it seriously wrong with the mother canon, so to speak.

Thank you for the courage to state the obvious.

(@ ratravarman FWIW that was Mr. Snyder, not Mr. Grossman)

I have to disagree with the idea of netbooks being a disappointment. I wish these had existed when I was in undergrad, and I’m getting one for grad school. Why pay for a full on laptop when all I NEED is to take notes and web browse in quiet desperation?