Dear Amy to Twilight Fan: “Seek Counseling”

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Was it really only a matter of time?

Stephanie Meyer’s alluring vampire romance series has entranced an army of teen girls and – who are we kidding – adults too, leaving them thirsty for dangerous, yet blazing love and brooding vampire boyfriends. Reading the Twilight books from the perspective of 17-year-old Bella Swan, your average high school student who just happens to be the object of desire for the gentle vampire Edward Cullen, is a trip inside the tornado of a confused, obsessive teenage romance with enough angst to drown competitors out completely.

(More on Techland: Is the Bible to Blame For This Real-Life Vampire Hunt?)

The romance is gut wrenching and because Edward is a vampire, it’s almost too convenient to for Meyer to bestow with qualities that not only make him ideal, but so completely and entirely unmatchable in reality. It’s no wonder readers reach a level of obsession that they find it nearly impossible to come down from, as one reader confessed to advice column Dear Amy, this week:

“I have been obsessed with these stories and have really grown attached to the primary male character. I’m so sorry I don’t have the same type of love that this character has for the female character. I have been depressed about this.”

(More on Techland: Crazed Twilight Fan: The Wolfman Gives Werewolves a Bad Name)

Yikes. Worst of all, this woman admits to being in her mid-50s, which leads me to really wonder how some of the younger, more vulnerable readers are coping with this new idealized breed of mega-man who never leaves your side, not even to sleep, considering he can’t. The fact that some people really long for these things to exist is frightening, which makes me cheer the Dear Amy columnist who responds with a gentle, but matter-of-fact bitch slap to the brain:

“It seems the Twilight series may have sent you over the edge. If you confess to an obsession, wonder if you are having a breakdown and worry about your behavior, then you should seek counseling.”

Good call.

More on Techland:

What Twilight Means: John Granger, Professor of Meyerology

The Twilight Saga: Total Eclipse of the Abs, Fangs and Vows

Stephanie Meyer Wrote a New Thing: The Brief Second Life of Bree Tanner