ABC’s V: John May Lives … Not!

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Oh god V, what happened?

I left last week’s episode thinking you’d finally started to get good. Turns out, you’re just another alien tease in a mediocre sci-fi suit.

Last night’s V had the makings for the start of a full on bad-ass rise of the resistance, but instead we’re still watching the same band of plucky misfits – just swap out Georgie for the ex-stepson of an alien. Because the episode’s title was John May, I expected to finally find the powerhouse behind the anti-V resistance, but because ABC hates all of us, we find out that John May, played by Battlestar Galactica‘s Michael Trucco, is actually dead. No, no, that’s fine. We really don’t need a plot anyway.

(More on Techland: John May Lives: V‘s Call to Battle)

But let’s recap: Because Georgie sacrificed himself to ensure that Ryan made it off of the New York ship safely, the alien-hating gang needs to find a way to communicate with members of the Fifth Column resistance movement still on the ship for help. The communicating device, which looks more like a glowing bouncy ball than sci-fi technology of the far reaches of space, is among John May’s things, which sends them on a wild chase to track it down. Meanwhile, Georgie is being ruthlessly tortured and not giving up the names of those in the resistance, and – surprise! – Tyler’s father might not really be his father. Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Days of Our Lives … With Aliens!

Again, these plot points seem to go nowhere and some seem so underdeveloped that they almost contradict each other. Tyler spends his time brooding over his further-evolving daddy issues, Lisa shows up with no explanation of how she knew where Tyler’s dad lives, Ryan’s fiancee Valerie discovers her hidden alien fetus ultrasound photos, Chad begins an investigation into the ship’s Live Aboard Program and Hobbes gets in an alien kill in the kitchen. Theoretically, it sounds exciting. Please note: It wasn’t.

(More on Techland: Dear ABC, V Won’t Lure LOST Fans By Keeping Sci-Fi at Arm’s Length)

In the end, Ryan reveals that in his oh-so mysterious past, he hunted for John May, the first alien to turn on the Vs. Oh yeah, and he killed him, too. Sorry everybody, there’s no hero. Let’s just go watch Erica cry some more while Hobbes makes sinister faces in the corner.

In the end, Georgie is euthanized over speakerphone while the others vow to make sure he didn’t die for nothing. Meanwhile, Anna’s army plans are coming right along as she gives birth to about a bajillion eggs (fish-style) in a swimming pool.

I have a feeling that we haven’t seen the last of John May, or Georgie, but whether they’ll be resurrected or just flashes from the past, we’ll have to wait to find out. I do know this: There better be a plot at the end of this insanely boring rainbow next week, or I’m asking for my hour back.