Conventional Weapons Are Bringing the Sexy Back

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War, what is it good for? Sexy sexy weapons with exploding tungsten rods absolutely nothing.

Now that the U.S. and Russia have completely solved the problem of nuclear proliferation, with no possibility that the world will ever be destroyed by loose-nuke-wielding terrorists, conventional weapons are making a comeback. Screw that non-lethal crap! You think Charlie’s scared of your sonic weapons, son? The New York Times is running a piece today about the Club-K, a cruise missile system developed by Kontsern-Morinformsistema-Agat — the very name oozes mil-porn — that fits into a shipping container, for easy transport and easy concealment. Four missiles to a pack!

The best part is the promotional video:

I hope they blew most of the development budget on those bleeding-edge FX, which are running just ahead of the Dire Straits “Money for Nothing” video. Gotta move those color TVs.

But why ship your cruise missiles all over the damn planet when you can hit anything in the world within 60 minutes from the comfort of your undisclosed location? The Obama administration is apparently pursuing work on an ultra-long-range, super-accurate system called Prompt Global Strike. In this scenario prompt means it moves at hypersonic speeds, i.e. upwards of 1,700 meters per second. That’s Mach 5, civilian. (Go, Speed Racer!)

Popular Mechanics outlines this scenario:

The warheads are filled with scored tungsten rods with twice the strength of steel. Just above the target, the warheads detonate, showering the area with thousands of rods-each one up to 12 times as destructive as a .50-caliber bullet. Anything within 3000 sq. ft. of this whirling, metallic storm is obliterated.

In other words, citizen, you’ve just been rodded.