Paycheck Friday: Purchasing Suggestions For Your Perusal

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It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.

10% ($0 to $8,375)


You get an iPad yet? Oh, right, that’d be like an entire paycheck huh? Not to worry! You can get an iPad-like paper pad for just $11. Just don’t let anybody too close to it. Maybe lock it in a glass case. You don’t want to ruin the illusion of iPad ownership by having your guests find out it’s just paper.

15% ($8,375 to $34,000)


I know, I know. The thought of blowing $100 on a rug seems downright asinine but if you look at a nice rug as an investment—a piece you can take with you from new home to new home—a hundred bucks is nothing. Oh, and did I mention it’s a Star Wars Wampa Rug? Ask any interior designer. These things NEVER go out of style and can tie ANY room together.

25% ($34,000 to $82,400)


No matter what they say, you are NOT an aging hipster. Sure, you’re a hipster and, yes, you’re getting older but nothing says “I’m not an aging hipster,” like this $128 Rocket Shelf. It’s vinyl wall decor at its finest with the added sensibility of a cassette deck wall shelf. Perfect for storing your skinny jeans, ironic/vintage shirts, and PBR cans for quick and easy access.

28% ($82,400 to $171,850)


You’re finally making some decent money but your slow, agonizing crawl to the top has aged you terribly! And the thought of injections or plastic surgery is enough to make you wish there were some sort of $150 face-scrunching apparatus that you could use instead. Oh! Wonderful! That was easy.

33% ($171,850 to $373,650


I’m sorry, did you just say that you take your dog outside to go to the bathroom? You’ve got money! Why in the world would you go out in public? Slip the Kleenex boxes back on your feet, fire up all the surveillance cameras, and spend your Saturday as it’s meant to be spent: spying on all the townspeople and noting which of them are trying to kill you. Your beloved family dog Sir Higginbottoms can relieve himself thanks to these $189 astroturf dumping stations you’ve strategically placed all over the house.

35% ($373,650 and up)


The problem with the iPad is that the most expensive version only costs $829. Where’s the fun in that? Thankfully there’s this $192,000 solid gold iPad encrusted with 25.5 carats of flawless diamonds. Note: Despite the price, this iPad doesn’t handle Adobe Flash files.

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