It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.
10% ($0 to $8,375)
You find yourself in a tough situation. Eat or have fun? You can’t do both. Or can you?! No, you can’t, but you can have fun while thinking about eating. This $12 giant donut puzzle is just the thing to provide you with a little recreation and a whole lot of craving.
15% ($8,375 to $34,000)
You’re making the big bucks now! Well, medium bucks maybe. Whatever the case, making all this money sure is stressful. Being on the cutting edge of technology, an ordinary stress ball won’t do. This $20 USB Stress Ball plugs into your computer and, when squeezed, mangles the image on the screen. Spreadsheets? More like deadsheets, am I right?!
25% ($34,000 to $82,400)
Sure, you don’t own a backyard swimming pool just yet but you’re making enough money to afford this $70 Remote Control Drink Float. It holds up to five drinks, all of which will quickly be stolen when you bring this thing to the public pool in the summer unless you’re able to navigate the apparatus with enough skill and dexterity to evade beverage thieves.
28% ($82,400 to $171,850)
Everyone who’s anyone has an iPad, so what’s your problem? Oh, right. Priorities. Lack of funds. Overwhelming bills. Still, you need an iPad to be taken seriously by your peers. Perhaps you can trick everyone with the $105 iPed. It’s like an iPad but with an E in the name. And it runs Android. And you’ll have to somehow find your way to China to get it.
33% ($171,850 to $373,650)
You enjoy going to Brookstone to watch all the huddled masses wish they had the disposable income to buy a massage chair. It’s a fun weekend activity that the whole family can enjoy! Especially when you tell the nearest salivating Joe Six Pack that not only do you own several massage chairs but that your beautifully landscaped patio features a set of these $200 outdoor massage chairs. Because what’s the point of going outside, otherwise?
35% ($373,650 and up)
When it comes to hidden cameras, nobody expects that one will be hidden in a fancy air ionizer. Maybe because nobody’s really sure what an air ionizer actually does. Whatever the case, you make so much money that for you NOT to have an air ionizer in every room of the house would be suspicious. But little will would-be thieves know that every $500 hidden camera air ionizer doesn’t actually ionize anything. Instead, it features a hidden black and white, motion-activated video camera. Nobody suspects the ionizer.
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