Leaked Apple Docs Explain How to Handle iPhone 4 Reception Complaints

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If you’ve been experiencing less than optimal signal strength with your new iPhone 4, your options thus far are to hold it differently, find some tape, or call AppleCare for a solution.

Calling AppleCare doesn’t look like it’s going to be all that productive, though, as documents apparently leaked to The Boy Genius Report explain that customer service reps should tow the company line.

Here are the steps that AppleCare reps are supposedly told to follow:

“1. Keep all of the positioning statements in the BN handy – your tone when delivering this information is important.

a. The iPhone 4’s wireless performance is the best we have ever shipped. Our testing shows that iPhone 4’s overall antenna performance is better than iPhone 3GS.

b. Gripping almost any mobile phone in certain places will reduce its reception. This is true of the iPhone 4, the iPhone 3GS, and many other phones we have tested. It is a fact of life in the wireless world.

c. If you are experiencing this on your iPhone 3GS, avoid covering the bottom-right side with your hand.

d. If you are experiencing this on your iPhone 4, avoid covering the black strip in the lower-left corner of the metal band.

e. The use of a case or Bumper that is made out of rubber or plastic may improve wireless performance by keeping your hand from directly covering these areas.

2. Do not perform warranty service. Use the positioning above for any customer questions or concerns.

3. Don’t forget YOU STILL NEED to probe and troubleshoot. If a customer calls about their reception while the phone is sitting on a table (not being held) it is not the metal band.

4. ONLY escalate if the issue exists when the phone is not held AND you cannot resolve it.

5. We ARE NOT appeasing customers with free bumpers – DON’T promise a free bumper to customers.”

You hear that, people? No appeasement via bumpers. There will be no bumper-related appeasement. You may appease yourself by buying a bumper on your own but don’t expect appeasement to come out of Apple’s pocket. Apple-specific appeasement will come in the form of sage phone holding advice and a kind reminder that you’re living in the wireless world.

In other, totally unrelated news, Apple posted a handful of positions titled “Antenna Engineer — iPad/iPhone” on June 23rd, right around the time all this reception hoopla started cropping up.

More on Techland:

Apple iPhone 4 Review: No, You Can’t Touch It

How to Fix iPhone 4 Reception Issues With Scotch Tape

Bloomberg’s Sources Say Verizon iPhone In January