Paycheck Friday: Purchasing Suggestions For Your Perusal

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It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.

10% ($0 to $8,375)

tobasco2 At your current salary level, you should be looking for convergence wherever it’s available. Food, in particular, is an easy place to start. This $6.79 Tobasco Chocolate Tin covers both your need for delicious chocolate and for spice-related condiments. As a bonus, once you develop a taste for dark chocolate laced with Tobasco, you won’t have to worry about family members or roommates stealing it from you. Maybe once, but that’ll be the last time. 

15% ($8,375 to $34,000)

debb_beerbot_bottle_opening_shirt_inuse Clawing your way out of the lowest tax bracket doesn’t mean you have to stop looking for convergence, it just means you can spend more money on higher-quality convergence devices. And your love of beer and robot-themed t-shirts finds the perfect product in the $20 BeerBot Bottle Opening Shirt. And while you’re probably not yet drinking nice enough beer to require an actual bottle opener, it doesn’t hurt to practice on twist-off caps until then.

25% ($34,000 to $82,400)

No dogs allowed in your apartment? While high-end robotic dogs are okay at replicating the actions of regular dogs, they leave a bit to be desired when it comes to the ultimate in realism. That’s where the $35 Peeing Dog Robotic Toy comes in. It replicates what the first six months of dog ownership is like for everyone: the dog peeing on everything you own. Can’t wait for the poo version to inevitably go on sale!

28% ($82,400 to $171,850)

203365063dEarning the kind of money you make means never having to apologize for refusing to keep up with the times. Solidify your love of permanently living ten years in the past with the $130 Portable DVD Boom Box. It’s a boom box that plays both CDs and DVDs. It’s also got a built-in memory card reader, but you can ignore that part if it makes you a bit uncomfortable.

33% ($171,850 to $373,650)

78750 I’ll let the product description for the $200 Vampire Fountain speak for itself: "This vampire fountain emits a stream of blood from its fanged mouth while clutching a recently decapitated head. An internal pump continuously circulates ordinary water, colored with red food coloring (not included), out of the vampire’s mouth, down its shirt, and into a basin hidden in his lap."

35% ($373,650 and up)


So the story goes that the bride of a Microsoft employee made him this custom wedding ring with a replica USB port and the inscription "For a lifetime of memories." You should use your many monies to make a similar ring, but have an actual working USB connector and storage. And Wi-Fi. And 3G. No! 4G! And GPS! And Twitter! And you can get phone calls on it!

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