Lessons I learned from last night’s episode of Warehouse 13: My TiVo hates me. No, wait, I mean “Myka isn’t supremely confident, Claudia is socially awkward, and both need emotional support from their male counterparts.” No, that’s not right either. Oh, well: Here’re thirteen thoughts about “Age Before Beauty.”
1. Some Girls Play With Barbies… Is there anything Myka can’t do? Well, be a model, apparently. While I’m happy to see Myka get an episode to herself, especially after the Pete-centric episodes the last two weeks, I’m not sure how I feel about Myka having an episode where her character arc is “Hey, I can put on make-up and be pretty!”
2. Let Us Never Speak Of This Again. That said, Pete’s pep talk was nice, but even moreso, both characters’ reaction to it: Pete being unable to say it to Myka’s face, and then refusing to talk about it afterwards, and Myka’s trying to thank him and talk some more about it. I really like the way these two actors play off each other, if only because I really don’t see any romantic tension between them, and that’s refreshing. I like the almost brother/sister dynamic the characters have with each other a lot.
3. I Could Be Your Father Figure. Talking of the show’s artificial family: How old is Claudia supposed to be? The way Artie and she were talking, she’s apparently still a teenager and not the early 20s I’d assumed, which’d make her… what? 18? 19? And why, exactly, does Artie have such a problem admitting the role of surrogate father this week when he’s pretty much acted as that since she was introduced?
4. Missing In Action. And while our regulars are strengthening their family bonds, there’s no Leena or Mrs. Frederick this week. I admit, I didn’t miss them at all; I appreciated the lack of MacPherson/Is Leena possessed uber-plot this time around, but did want to add that I ran into CCH Pounder in my hotel at Comic-Con and was overwhelmed with the urge to hug her, because she looked so friendly. Luckily, I fought that urge with every ounce of my being, because I’m sure security would’ve been called and things would’ve ended badly.
4.5. Was That Too Much Oversharing? I should talk some more about the episode, shouldn’t I?
5. Hello, Fashion World Cliches. Could Damian the “world-famous fashion stylist” have been any more cliched? Or Gunther, the photographer? It was as if the writers had watched Ugly Betty and thought that it was a documentary. Also, “It’s like a game of gay Clue“? Really?
6. If You Introduce A Random Character In The First Act, He Has To Go Off In The Third Act. If this week’s episode was a game of Clue, it was the worst one ever. Here’s a tip for the writers to remember: When you have a character who doesn’t play a central role in the world your characters are investigating, it’s pretty obvious he’s going to end up being a bad guy, because there’s no other reason for him to be there. There was more surprise in the choice of artifact than there was in the identity of who was aging all the models, this week. Which leads me to…
7. It’s Good To Know That Rapid-Aging Technology Hasn’t Evolved Since Star Trek. Okay, so Myka’s final aged self wasn’t absolutely terrible, but that silver wig as she was changing? Oh dear. Also…
8. The Rapid Aging Of Plot Convenience. So how did the artifact actually work again? Did it need the photo to be developed, as seemed to be the case from watching Myka change, or just for the photo to be taken, as seemed to be the case from re-aging the photographer at the end? Is this one of those “Shhh. Don’t pay that much attention” things?
9. Two Wrongs Apparently Make A Right… Okay, I get that reaging the photographer brought Myka back to her proper age, but I can’t quite get over the fact that no-one seemed that bothered that this pretty much meant that the photographer dude would probably die very quickly afterwards. I guess murder/manslaughter is okay if the guy deserved it?
10. Worst Supervillain Hideout Ever. I love that the photographer had photos of his young/old ageswap victims hanging up next to each other in his darkroom. Can’t you just imagine the conversations from people who saw all the photos? “I thought you were a fashion photographer! Who’re those old women?” “They’re, uh, my grandmother. Yes, all of them. Never mind. Stop asking me all these questions!“
11. Post-Modern Casting Or Unflattering Lighting? Was it just me, or did Romana the bitchy model seem older than all the other models in the episode? Like, considerably older? And less attractive? Was that intentional, as some kind of commentary on the uber-plot, or am I reading far too much into things?
12. Also, Romana? Hello, Doctor Who shout-out. Guess that answers my inner-nerd question about whether or not the opening in Cardiff was a Torchwood shout-out or not.
13. Worst. Date. Ever. I have been on some bad dates in my life, but even I have to admit that Claudia’s date with Todd was awkward. But then, I was never dumb enough to mention the goodbye kiss before the food had ever arrived, or complain about onions. Todd, dude, haven’t you ever heard of mints?
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