49:31 – Digital Binoculars
Here’s indisputable proof that Darth Maul frequents the SkyMall catalog. He’ll tell you he uses them to hunt Jedi. He won’t tell you he likes to unwind with a little bird watching during his downtime.
49:40 – Wrist-worn Remote Control
Man, not ten seconds later and he’s deploying remote controlled tracking bots via some sweet 80’s-looking wrist band. Clearly the Dark Side has corporate accounts with the Sharper Image and Hammacher Schlemmer.
58:11 – Spectator Video Tablet
Capable of HD graphics (just 720p, not 1080p) the Spectato-Tron 3000 is the preferred choice of fine stadiums and race venues all across the galaxy.
1:14:58 – Walking Throne
A throne with spider-like legs that walks around, navigated by the whims of whomever’s sitting in it? SkyMall, are you paying attention to this?
1:23:24 – Flying Video Camera
It’s really only a matter of time before mainstream flying video cameras take off in real life. First stop, professional sports. Football seems to be an obvious option. Any field-based sporting events, really. And dog shows.
1:39:21 – R2D2’s Built-in Pico Projector
As promised, a properly converged pico projector.
1:40:31 – Walking Projector
This film is sponsored in part by the International Association of Projector Manufacturers and their direct subsidiaries. Pair this thing with the walking throne (see 1:14:58) and you’ve got yourself a pretty cushy lifestyle.
1:42:00 – Laser Pointer
It’s looking more and more like the vast majority of the props for this film were purchased using a “$30 off $150 or more” coupon to Office Depot.
1:50:23 – Ascension Guns
The thing about ascension guns is that they never show where that long length of wire is kept. Tiny handgun with a 75-foot wire spool in it somewhere? Sure, I guess. Batman pulled the same trick with his utility belt.
That’s it. Stay tuned for Episodes II through VI rolling out all this month.
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User Submissions Wanted! What’s Your Favorite Star Wars “Fan Film”?
Star Wars Month: The Debate of 2010 – Is Empire the Best Film?