Paycheck Friday: Purchasing Suggestions For Your Perusal

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It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.

10% ($0 to $8,375)

You people in this bracket get the short end of the stick each and every week, so this week I’m giving you not one—but two!—affordable options to help you while the time away.

battleshipkeychain2For the truly downtrodden, this $4 Battleship Game Keychain might be just the thing to lift your spirits. It’s Battleship… but on a keychain! For $4! How did they do that?! The mini pieces come inside the game board. You will lose them and say, “Oh, just my luck. Figures I’d lose those.”

mini-portable-simon-gameAnd for the slightly more well-heeled, there’s the $10 Mini Portable Simon with Carabiner. Just being able to say you own something with the word “carabiner” in it sounds ultra classy, but an always-with-you version of Simon? That just oozes distinction. “Let’s go mountain climbing and play some Simon!” you’ll yell. “I’m living proof that it’s possible!”

15% ($8,375 to $34,000)

darkbrownbear

What’s better than a one-headed teddy bear, and definitely much creepier? Apparently a $47 two-headed teddy bear. Show your child he or she is doubly special with this unbelievably odd gift.

[via Likecool]

25% ($34,000 to $82,400)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH4KOCVnIZI&]

If there’s one thing that could make your morning ritual more exciting, it’d be to chase your alarm clock around the room as it wobbles away from you. The $79 “Tocky” alarm clock does just that. Bonus points for crying as you’re chasing it, blubbering, “This sucks! I can’t believe I paid $79 for this!”

28% ($82,400 to $171,850)

d-WkOqjg

Sick of people talking on their cell phones around you all the time? Do something about it! See that thing this lady’s wearing around her neck? It’s a $129 battery powered signal jammer with a range of up to 65 feet. See how she’s got her hands on her hips and glaring at those unsuspecting students? That could be you! People will start calling you JamStar or JamJerk or JamHead. Don’t give yourself the nickname, though. It has to be organic.

33% ($171,850 to $373,650)

hammock

You and the weather have a contentious relationship. How dare the weather not bend to your every whim? Doesn’t it know who you are?! In lieu of being able to control the weather—which YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO at your salary range but for some unfair reason, can’t—might I suggest this $300 heated hammock? Everyone will think you’re a true outdoorsman. “Hey, that guy in pleated khaki pants and penny loafers is in a hammock. In early October, no less! He must be much tougher than he looks.”

35% ($373,650 and up)

Seabreacher-X

This is a $93,000 submersible boat that looks like a shark. It can go 50 miles per hour on top of the water or 25 miles per hour underwater. And when it comes up from underwater, it can jump up to 12 feet while rolling 90 degrees to either side. You should have your wetsuit on and your credit card out by now, as if you’re even still reading this.

[via Likecool]

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