It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.
10% ($0 to $8,375)
Sure, you make very little money. But have you ever considered that it might not be your fault? What’s your family like? You probably never had a chance because of them, huh? Well, you might as well win at something and that something is Dysfunctional Family Bingo ($8).
With squares like Fake Smile, Secret Habits, Inappropriate Attire, Questionable Parenting, Story Repetition, Door Slam, and Staged Family Photo, you’ll be passively-aggressively yelling BINGO! in no time.
15% ($8,375 to $34,000)
You drink too much, you smoke too much, you want to quit doing both, and you’re looking for a 4GB flash drive to creep you right the hell out.
Ah, perfect. Lungs and Liver USB drives for $20 apiece. They’re little characters that have a set of lungs and a liver instead of heads. And to access the flash drive, you pull their legs off.
25% ($34,000 to $82,400)
You’re making a little more money and moving up in the world, which means it’s time for your first robotic ape. This $80 fella’s name is Bananas.
"Normally a jovial fellow, the ape amuses himself by tap dancing, humming a song, and occasionally breaking wind. However, when his sleep is disturbed or he is tipped over, the rambunctious simian ‘goes bananas,’ pounding his fists, flashing his laser eyes, and roaring menacingly–until he is calmed by a belly tickle."
That may sound frightening, but any robotic ape owner can tell you that it’s pretty much par for the course.
28% ($82,400 to $171,850)
Just because Apple says the new iPod Nano can be worn as a watch, doesn’t mean you need to wear it as a watch. If you do decide to drop between $150 and $180 on the new iPod and another $17 on the watch band, do us all a favor and get a shirt that says "Mug me. I’m wearing an iPod as a watch!"
33% ($171,850 to $373,650)
You know what? You’re rich. You’ve worked hard and now it’s time to enjoy life. First stop, breakfast. You can eat whatever you want! What did you want most as a kid? That’s right: cereal that’s only marshmallow pieces. A 95-pound bag can be yours for just $400. You can buy smaller sizes, too, but why would you? You’re rich and you’ll eat whatever you damn-well please.
[via Geekologie]
35% ($373,650 and up)
Can you put a price on owning the world’s tallest bobblehead? For the sake of argument, no. But for the sake of you getting your hands on the world’s tallest bobblehead, yes. This kid built his own 16-foot bobblehead outside his house in Brooklyn. Someone of your stature ought to be able to at least build a 32-foot one outside your giant house. That’ll teach this 14-year-old to get involved with challenging projects.
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