It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.
10% ($0 to $8,375)
"Must be nice to be making digital photography money," you tell your friends. "Sure wish I could look at digital photos." But your serious lack of liquidity means that you can only afford to look at old-timey photos. Why not drop $13 on this Picture.bmp Photo Frame? It looks like a digital photo, sort of, but it holds real photos. It lets everyone know that you’re prepared to make the switch to digital once the money starts rolling in.
15% ($8,375 to $34,000)
Whoa, look who’s made the big time!
Will you stick to your roots and show up to all your marshmallow fights with your trusty single barreled Marshmallow Shooter or will you show all the jerks at your local marshmallow gun club that you mean business with this $40 Double Barreled Marshmallow Shooter?
25% ($34,000 to $82,400)
Finally! After years of trying to figure out how to get people to ridicule you based on your headwear, you’ve found the ultimate hat.
It’s black and has no distinguishing characteristics. Oh, except for the built-in 2GB MP3 player and tiny speakers. And it costs $100. This makes beer helmets and giant foam cowboy hats suddenly seem sensible.
28% ($82,400 to $171,850)
Android phone? Nah. iPhone? Pass. BlackBerry? Move along. You’ve got the $124 McLovin Phone. Yes, there’s a phone called the McLovin.
Why? Why not, I guess. Per the product description:
"The McLovin, a china mobile phone that has everything today’s power user demands from their cellphone including dual SIM, QWERTY keyboard, Bluetooth, large 3.2 inch touch display, unlocked, and works everywhere in the world – you will be McLovin it!"
33% ($171,850 to $373,650)
Let the unwashed masses listen to their iPods through their pedestrian Bose radios and crude noise-canceling headphones. Your $20,000 bed has its own iPod dock! Have an iPad? Of course you do. You simply must have the "world’s first bed designed to work with an iPad."
35% ($373,650 and up)
Hmmm, what to buy? What… to… buy? It’s gotta be something big and expensive. Like, almost unreasonably expensive. And it has to be expensive for being an almost regular product with one additional meaningless feature that catapults it into the price stratosphere. A solar-powered circular rotating bed especially designed for yachts? Perfect! Wait, I’m skeptical. How much does it cost? Almost $150,000? Perfect!
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