When Does Life Without Facebook Become Unsustainable? | Techland

An ancient joke (popularized if not invented by Henny Youngman) has a patient saying “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.” To which the doctor replies, of course, “Don’t do that!”

I thought of that bit this week when I compiled some tips on how to enjoy Facebook–a service which I find mostly fun, but sometimes frustrating–for my Technologizer column on TIME.com. Most of them involve techniques for minimizing Facebook frustrations, but the last one I give is more radical: If you just don’t like Facebook, why use it? Why choose to do something that makes yourself unhappy?

I don’t plan to follow that advice myself: I do like Facebook, even if not unreservedly. But in the name of research I clicked on the Deactivate Account link. I got a screen which tried to tug at my heartstrings by showing photos of me with people who’d allegedly miss me if I left (see above image).

I also got a section which asked ordered me to explain my reason for absconding. Clicking on most of the answers provided pops up a little yellow box with a tip that Facebook hopes might resolve a disgruntled member’s concern without requiring the extreme measure of departing the service.

The last-ditch effort to make an unhappy camper into a happy one seems fair enough, but requiring the member to specify a reason feels unreasonable to me: This needs a “prefer not to say” option. (Or maybe I’m just pigheaded and unhelpful: When I’m canceling something like a credit card over the phone, I’ve been known to refuse to say why. I also tend to opt out of software debugging features that transmit information about crashes back to companies such as Microsoft.)

Anyhow, at this point in time, it’s possible to be a contented, productive human being without belonging to Facebook: I know both people who have never joined and ones who did and decided to depart, and none of them seem to be haunted by not having Facebook in their lives.

I do, however, wonder if it’ll always be that way. Is there some point at which not belonging to Facebook will be the equivalent of not acquiring a driver’s license or other form of government-issued ID, refusing to keep one’s money in a bank, or choosing not to have a telephone number–an extreme form of protest against societal norms that amounts to what my mom would describe as cutting off your nose to spite your face? I hope not: If that happens, it’ll mean that Facebook has something akin to a Ma Bell-like monopoly on the digitization of human relationships. But I wouldn’t bet against it happening within the next few years.

More on Techland:

FriendShuffle: Cruise the Sites Your Facebook Friends Like

Facebook Announces Three Upcoming Changes Dealing With User Privacy

Social Network: Celebrating the New Digitized, Democratized American Dream

gminnj

This column is a little late. Plenty of people still refuse to join, and plenty of others are opting out. It will never gain must-have status.
earlyhike

@gminnj – A) Will it be “must have” like a drivers license? No. But there is certainly a pressure to join, and that pressure is growing. How many TV commercials and marketing signs and brochures include the Facebook Emblem or a “Check us out on Facebook” message. The number of companies falling in line with this must-have marketing trend is overwhelming.

B) That “must-have” status varies from one social group to another. If you have few friends facebook is easy to pass on. If you are surrounded by technophobes then same outcome. Otherwise anyone with friends feels the pressure to join to some degree. Its a communication tool for even the less computer literate. I find that my friends who otherwise don’t cherish technology still fully consume facebook as a tool. In the end facebook is the most efficient way to communicate with a group of friends. Unfortunately the must-have feeling is a reality because so many communicate through facebook and nothing else. I held out from facebook for a time, but in the end I got sick of being the last to know about important announcements. And many won’t go out of their way to tell you personally because they assume facebook covered everybody.

If you don’t feel the pressure you either have no friends, don’t care about your friends, or have a specific type of friends (lucky you). The pressure to at least have a login is otherwise there to some degree. -I’m not suggesting to give in, but the huge Facebook presence is a reality. I don’t like a lot about facebook but for now I’ve got at least one foot in and one foot out.
http://jamboxdj.wordpress.com jamboxdj

When?
Never for me or anyone who does not need or care for facebook.

Hopefully I will never have to get involved w/them.