It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.
10% ($0 to $8,375)
While drinking anything from a bottle is generally reserved for special occasions on your salary, make those special occasions even more special with a $10 pack of eight decorative Pop’s Stache attachments. Bottles? Classy. Mustaches for those bottles? Classplosive.
15% ($8,375 to $34,000)
Your dreams of becoming a famous musician were cut short a long time ago. We’ve all been there. You have what it takes to succeed, but the barrier to entry is just too high! The culprit? Insane prices for guitar picks.
In what’s sure to cause the guitar pick establishment nightmares, you can now buy the $25 Pick Punch and make your own picks from just about anything. Credit cards, drivers licenses, rewards cards—they’re all fair game.
25% ($34,000 to $82,400)
You promised yourself that once you cleared $34,000 per year, you’d never be caught in the bathroom with a dead iPod battery again. This is America, right? Why shouldn’t you have the ultimate in hygienic convergence?
Now instead of yellng, "We’re out of terlet paper!" to anyone who’ll listen, you can yell, "We’re out of terlet paper but I ain’t out of battery!" That’s the promise of the $66 iCarta and, by extension, America.
28% ($82,400 to $171,850)
It’s the ultimate challenge for someone of your status. How can you get a tan on your face while you’re sleeping?
The $200 iPad Alarm Clock sits right on your nightstand and bathes your face in the soothing glow of a 10-inch LCD screen.
There’s even an included app that lets you wake up to "overnight updates from Facebook and Twitter."
Why miss a single update, though? Now you can keep track of who’s tweeting what all… night… long.
33% ($171,850 to $373,650)
If I have to explain why buying a 1994 Dodge Caravan and turning it into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle van is a good idea, then you and I will have to agree to disagree about what’s important in life. Family, friends, health—all good things. After those basic needs are met, though, it’s Turtle time.
35% ($373,650 and up)
The irony of you building your own Monopoly house is that people will inevitably ask, "If you have the money to build a Monopoly house, why not just build a Monopoly hotel instead?" They’ll also probably complain about how the inside of the house doesn’t get much sunlight.
Remind them that one must build four houses before building a hotel, and hotels require employees, constant maintenance, and credit card machines—all of which you have no time to worry about.
More on Techland: Paycheck Friday Archive