Whedon On Buffy Reboot: “Are Vampires Even Popular Anymore?”

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When Warner Bros. greenlit the rumored Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie reboot yesterday without the co-operation of series creator/NerdGodhead Joss Whedon, reactions seemed to be mixed between “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” and “Well, it sucks to be Whit Anderson.” Not surprisingly, Whedon had his own take, which he emailed to E! Online‘s Kristin Dos Santos:

Kristin, I’m glad you asked for my thoughts on the announcement of Buffy the cinema film.  This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths—just because they can’t think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.

Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, “Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson?  This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER.”  Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, “I’ll make a mint!  This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!” Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?

I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death.  But, you know, AFTER.  I don’t love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I’m also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can’t wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I’m making a Batman movie.  Because there’s a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.

Leave me to my pain!  Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

Not covered in this response, nor any to date: What – if anything – this news means for Dark Horse Comics’ Buffy comics, which do involve Whedon as “showrunner” and occasional scriptwriter, and are due to relaunch next year following the upcoming conclusion to the Whedon-plotted “Season Eight” series (Fear not, fans: It may genuinely mean nothing for the Dark Horse/Whedon comics – The difference between TV and movie rights may result in a similar situation to the Terminator comics, wherein three different publishers can simultaneously hold the comic rights to the franchise, thanks to each movie having different owners).

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