Paycheck Friday: Purchasing Suggestions for Your Perusal

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It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.

10% ($0 to $8,500)

toastit-coasters

ToastIt Drink Coasters: $10

At your salary, you can have toast or you can have coasters. That is, unless someone miraculously invents coasters that look like toast. Actually, maybe you could buy a loaf of bread, eat half of it, and then let the rest go stale.

Bam. Toast coasters.

15% ($8,500 to $34,500)

nopopo-3-battery-set

NoPoPo Urine-Powered Batteries: $38

Listen, you can sit here feeling sorry for yourself and crying all day about how much money you spend on batteries, or you can buck up and invest in some urine-powered ones. Sure, they can be powered by other types of liquid—that’s orange juice in the above photo—but it’s not like you’re making good use of your own urine. NoPoPo? Yes, pee pee.

 

25% ($34,500 to $83,600)

scaloupe

Scaloupe USB Scalp Camera: $96

Well, it’s about time. If you’re like me, you have no idea what the hell’s going on up on that noggin of yours but you’re pretty sure it’s some combination of fascinating and shocking. And this $96 USB camera is NOT a medical device, which means you’re free to use it however you see fit. Whatever weird scalp-play you’re into is fair game.

 

28% ($83,600 to $174,400)

pADIDAS1-8703401dt

Jeremy Scott Wings 2.0 Shoes: $200

"Oh, hey guys. Cool normal shoes. Oh, these? They’re basically just Adidas high tops WITH WINGS!!!"

"How much? They were $200. Too steep for you, huh? If you’re looking for cheaper wings, maybe a Red Bull’s more your speed. Face!"

 

33% ($174,400 to $379,150)

51Vv4HOJUBL

Giant Swiss Army Knife: $902

Come on. Is this really necessary? A $900 pocket knife that’d never fit in anyone’s pocket? You must be making between $174,400 and $379,150 per year to even consider something like this.

Jealous? Me? Yeah. So? Man, I want one.

It’s got everything: fish scaler, snap shackle, club face cleaner, telescopic pointer (!), ruler, chisel-point reamer, regular reamer—you wouldn’t even need a toolbox or any other tools.

 

35% ($379,150 and up)

robocop

RoboCop Statue: $50,000

The people of Detroit have spoken and they’re getting their RoboCop statue. It cost a relatively reasonable fifty grand, too. Someone of your stature could just skip the hassle of raising money and build your own statue. And it wouldn’t have to be RoboCop. You could build a statue of Chris Farley in Beverly Hills Ninja if you’re looking for something a little different.

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