The cloud? Good. No girlfriend? Bad. A cloud-based girlfriend? Better than no girlfriend, apparently.
The idea behind Cloud Girlfriend is simple: You pay a yet-to-be-determined price to have your ideal (yet not for real) girlfriend leave you loving messages on your Facebook Wall for all to see.
It’s an easy four-step process, says the site:
“Step 1: Define your perfect girlfriend. Step 2: We bring her into existence. Step 3: Connect and interact with her publicly on your favorite social network Step 4: Enjoy a public long distance relationship with your perfect girl.”
Step two sounds… odd. Are we talking about the fun Weird Science existence or the creepy, goopy Battlestar Galactica kind?
And what about those pesky terms of service Facebook has in place forbidding the creation of fake accounts?
Company co-founder David Fuhriman said, “The girlfriend is operated by a real girl. It is not a sex chat or pornography service,” according to PCMag. She’ll apparently hit you up on Twitter, too.
I can’t imagine anyone being remotely interested in this serv—whup, the site says, “Due to high demand we are only able to accommodate a limited number of users to the site. Register early to get in line.” I stand corrected.
Some questions remain: Cost? Actually a girl? What about Cloud Boyfriends? English as your primary language? Did I remember to pick up ground turkey for turkey burgers? Weren’t you going to do that? I don’t even like turkey burgers. How the hell are we even arguing about this? You don’t exist!
Oh and keep in mind that April Fools’ Day is right around the corner, so any dumb tech news you hear between now and then could either be fake or just plain dumb. Sometimes both.
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