Toshiba: This Hard Drive Will Self Destruct (if Stolen)

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Greetings, friend. Has the following scenario happened to you?

After years of meticulously collecting multiple gigabytes of lolcat photos and hilarious e-mail forwards, you find that your house—er, garden-level studio apartment—has been broken into. The thieves seemingly take nothing.

And then you try to boot your computer.

“Operating system not found.”

Perplexed, you call Microsoft, who tells you to call Compaq, who’s now owned by HP. You call HP directly after Compaq “transfers” you to a dial tone, and HP tells you that it’s clearly your hard drive’s fault and, as such, you should call the manufacturer of said hard drive. You look to see who makes the hard drive and the room… begins… to spin.

YOUR HARD DRIVE HAS BEEN STOLEN!

All those lolcat photos and hilarious e-mail forwards are now in the hands of professional criminals. You picture them in your mind’s eye, roaring with laughter. “What a find!” they bellow. One of them goes for an open-palm high five as the other expects a closed-handed fist bump. It’s an awkward moment, BUT WHO CARES?! LOOK AT ALL THESE LOLCATS!

You can now prevent this exact scenario (and similar scenarios—not that you can easily imagine any that don’t play out just like this one) in the future with a new line of hard drives from Toshiba.

Available in 160-, 250-, 320-, 500- and 640-gigabyte varieties, the MKxx61GSYG series (rolls right off the tongue) features built-in technology that can delete all of the data on the hard drive if it’s been removed from its host computer and hooked up to another computer.

The drives are officially “targeted at security-sensitive applications,” according to Toshiba—government, business, secret governo-business hybrids housed in underground bunkers—but that doesn’t mean your lolcat photos and hilarious e-mail forwards are any less important, does it?

No pricing information has been made available yet but “the drives will go into mass production and reach a few select customers sometime in the second quarter,” according to CNET.

More on TIME.com:

Two Minute Video: Testing a Fireproof, Waterproof Hard Drive

Pogoplug Pro Turns External Drives into Online Drives for $99

Seagate Outs World’s First 1.5TB Portable External Hard Drive

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