Forget Last Week’s Apple Rumors, You Need This Week’s Apple Rumors

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Got your Apple rumors hat on? Got your Apple rumors cup of coffee in hand? Excellent. Now you’re all ready for today’s Apple rumors.

Rumor 1: Apple is releasing new MacBook Airs made entirely of air, no actual atoms required. Rumor 2: your pocket-sized friends of the future, the iPhones 6, 7 and 8 are all under pre-pre-pre production at a secret underground laboratory in Cupertino. Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

OK, OK, I’m kidding. There are some rumors for you this morning, but they’re not quite as enticing as either of those. So then:

According to 9to5mac, a new MacBook Air (manufactured with much more familiar computer design techniques) is imminent. They cite evidence in the form of Best Buy’s online store, which now lists the existing 11-inch MacBook Air as “Not available”. That usually means that stocks have been run down in the run-up to a new model launch. Usually.

(MORE: Very similar rumors from last week)

Why is there so much excitement about the next Air? It’s probably because Apple has said that the Air represents the future of its notebook line. The last lot of Airs were priced very competitively, and they flew off the shelves. Thanks to their solid state drives, even comparatively old Core 2 Duo processors were blazing fast. If the new models update with a newer processor and even better speed, those shelves are going to keep emptying very quickly.

Meanwhile in the red corner, Apple Insider says the iPhone 5 will go to manufacturing in “mid to late August”, thanks to a telling remark from an analyst.

That would probably be just in time for a pre-Christmas launch of the new device, perfectly timed to capture that festive touch-screen spirit. Just in time to sing “The Holly and the iVy” and “Angry Birds Are Coming to Town” again.

PHOTOS: TIME’s Steve Jobs covers