Paycheck Friday! Purchasing Suggestions for Your Perusal

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It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.

10% ($0 to $8,500)

suncap

SunCap Hat: $25

You’re on a tight budget, which means that owning both sunglasses AND a hat isn’t really in the cards for you this summer—unless… No, there’s no way someone’s invented hats with built-in sunglasses and priced them at only $25. The idea itself is a slam dunk but such an invention would put the inventor in grave danger, as the hat and sunglasses industries would stop at nothing—NOTHING!—to make sure those products never made it to market.

NEWSFLASH! Such a product has been invented and is being sold at SkyMall. Not only are the SunCap Hats functional, but boy oh boy do they look cool, too, as evidenced by the above photo.

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15% ($8,500 to $34,500)

p48912_500

Whoopie Pie Maker: $50

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. One moment. Hold. It.

Whoopie pies were invented by the Amish?! Get right out of Lancaster County! I know some Maniacs (people from Maine, lololol) who are going to be shocked and discredited by this news. Better keep it to myself, actually. We don’t want this getting out on the interne—uh oh. I thought that “publish” button said “polish” and I was hoping it might sprice up my speling.

Anyway, what better way to honor the whoopie pie—an Amish invention—than with an electric whoopie pie maker?

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25% ($34,500 to $83,600)

anpanman-digital-first-camera

Baby’s First Digital Camera: $110

Setting a budget for your child’s first digital camera? Might I suggest $110? That seems totally reasonable! Don’t take my word for it, though.

Product description: “A great way for children to learn about photography and entertain themselves, they can check out what they are framing on the LCD screen and acquire valuable educational skills in the process.”

Valuable education skills being, “Even though I require constant supervision and can’t seem to control my own bowels, I should have a camera that costs more than my parents’ point-and-shoot camera.”

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28% ($83,600 to $174,400)

stretch

Stretching Equipment: $500

“I absolutely LOVE your new workout room, Janet. Top drawer! What’s this machine do? It looks like an exercise bike without pedals.”

That’s for stretching.

“And then what?”

Just stretching.

“Stretching that builds muscle or helps you lose weight?”

No, just stretching.

“Did you get it as part of a set or something?”

No, it was $500. Totally worth it.

“Worth it for stretching…”

Worth it for stretching, yes.

“Well, does it—” No. “I mean will it—” No. It doesn’t do anything except sitting there so you can stretch on it. It’s stretching equipment. For $500.

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33% ($174,400 to $379,150)

luxury_ipad_case_by_dolce_gabbana_is_worth_its_price_rgdik

Dolce & Gabbana iPad Case: $1,175

MY EYES! OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE!

Nothing says, “I don’t have an iPad, so don’t try to steal it,” like a $1,200 iPad case that looks like it got into a fight with sequins. The gold chain is a nice touch, though, and I’m happy to see that they added little stars to it. Without the little stars, the whole thing would just look gaudy.

The case has space for more than your iPad, too, so it can double as a purse. Go ahead and just toss your keys, water bottle and powdery make-up in there with your fancy tablet and rest assured that nothing bad will happen.

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35% ($379,150 and up)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZSBpFMWk-M]

World’s Only Turbine-Powered Batmobile: Priceless (doi)

Does it matter how much this car actually costs? If you’re not already on the phone commissioning Putsch Racing to build you one, you need to seriously reexamine your priorities. Sad, sad, sad.

Oh, and it comes with a free iPad, too.

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