Netflix—er, Qwikster, wants you to stick around as a DVD-by-mail subscriber and, as Conan O’Brien has discovered, it’ll do just about anything short of reverting back to the original pricing structure to get you to stay.
Team CoCo has somehow gotten its hands on a second apology video from Netflix (see above), wherein the company promises industry-first features such as in-home DVD playback initiated by actual employees (they’ll also do your dishes, paint your house and watch the movie with you), a new 49-cents-per-month “Blind Side Plan,” which includes unlimited rentals of The Blind Side (and nothing else), plus the ability to return a DVD anywhere—throw it out a car window, stick it in a bush, or hand it to any elderly person.
“Don’t worry. We’ll get it,” says Netflix.
Are any of these new features enough to get you to stay? I can handle DVD playback and household chores on my own, and I’m not sure if I need to see The Blind Side over and over again, but I like the idea of returning the DVDs anywhere. Other possible locations, according to the video: Put it under your pillow, throw it in the ocean, hide it in your local grocery store’s produce section, or leave it on a public bus. Now THAT’S convenient!