So you’re rich, filthy stinking rich, and you want to know what to get, well, probably for yourself, since who else can afford to buy you this stuff? In keeping with my colleagues’ Santa lineup, I guess that makes me Blitzen, whose name with a simple twist of your brain’s linguistic cortex might come out “Blingzen”, because that’s what we’re looking at here—some of the world’s most expensive tech-bling!
Yamaha AvantGrand N3 ($15,000)
The sound of Yamaha’s premium CFIIIS Concert Grand, the action of a Yamaha C1 Conservatory Classic Collection Grand, and since it’s technically a digital piano, it never goes out of tune. Forget cracked iron plates, broken strings, fiddling una corda rods or worrying about watering humidistats—that, and the AvantGrand N3 weighs just 438 lbs. (contrast with the CFIIIS, which weighs 1,100 lbs.). How’d they do it? By placing microphones at four points along the CFIIIS’s soundboard to grab the sample library, then piping that sound back through four comparably placed speakers in the baby-grand-like body of the N3. The result: an open-air acoustic piano sound even the most expensive software synths–higher quality samples or no–can’t manage, coupled to an actual grand piano action. And since real acoustic pianos resonate in ways you can feel through your fingers, Yamaha added what it calls a Tactile Response System to the equation—basically a vibration-feedback system that makes playing the AvantGrand’s touch almost indiscernible from that of an actual grand.
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OVO-4 Home Flight Simulator ($60,000)
What do you get for the flight sim enthusiast who 
already owns an actual plane? Why something that costs as much as one, of course (well, used anyway). The OVO-4 Home Flight Simulator lets you climb into an egg-shaped thingamajig with three 24-inch monitors, a vibration feedback system to simulate turbulence and a full-on cockpit’s worth of levers, buttons, dials and of course a yoke to fully immerse yourself with a custom-tailored version of Microsoft’s Flight Simulator X. “Piloting an aeroplane in your home makes about as much sense as driving a combine harvester around the bathroom,” goes the marketing literature for this thing, and I couldn’t agree more. Sure, you’ll look a little like Mork from Ork rolling around in it, but that, my friends, is the price of fidelity.
iPad 2 Gold History Edition ($7,747,500)
We already pitched the iPad 2 on Tuesday, but how about one encrusted with 12.5 carats of “flawless” diamonds, a dazzling if utterly ridiculous 53 in all, stuck inside a solid 24 carat Apple logo and surrounded by a 24 carat gold backplate weighing a whopping 2,000 grams. Flip it over and the front panel’s crafted of Ammolite, which–I had to look it up, too–is an extremely rare opal-like gemstone formed from extinct marine mollusks (okay, so describing it as “the oldest rock the world has to offer…over 75 million years old” sounds sexier). As if that weren’t enough, these guys splintered off sections of a Tyrannosaurus Rex’s thigh bone, shaved those into the Ammolite, then topped it off with a single cut 8.5 carat diamond inlaid in platinum and surrounded by another 12 diamonds. Want to buy one? You’d better hurry, because it sounds like they’ve only made two.
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Bugatti Veyron Super Sports ($1,700,000)
What do superheroes drive? Probably cars less over-the-moon expensive than the Bugatti Veyron 16.4, the world’s highest-priced as well as second-fastest luxury auto (it’ll do zero to 60 in 2.5 seconds and zero to 100 in five). What do you get for nearly $2 million of rainy day money? Try an 8.0 liter, 16-cylinder engine with four turbochargers (it takes 10 radiators to cool the thing), four-wheel drive, a dual-clutch DSH computer-controlled manual transmission and a top speed of 253 miles per hour (computer-limited to save the tires–it can actually go faster still), a speed that “would literally lift the car off the ground,” save for its “ingenious aerodynamics.” For all that, ecologically efficient it’s not: Look for 8 mpg in the city, and just 13 mpg on the highway.
Hasselblad H4D-60 ($42,000)
You want megapixels? This uber-pricey medium-sized DSLR camera has enough to make the stars (and your wallet) weep–60 in all, making it one of the highest resolution cameras in existence. It features a CCD sensor that measures 40.2 by 53.7 mm, or (the company claims) “more than twice the physical size of the largest 35mm DSLR sensor.” Tilt sensors, true-focus, absolute position lock, digital lens correction, electronic spirit level, they’re all here, even if many of you (including me) won’t know what most of that stuff means. But if you’re serious about photography (and seriously loaded), the H4D-60 sounds like the apotheosis of DSLRs. Just, you know, don’t drop the thing.
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Luvaglio Laptop ($1,000,000)
Sure, it looks like something Ernest Hemingway might’ve done to a computer were he alive and a tech enthusiast (kill a leopard with your bare hands, skin your laptop with its…skin) but then for a million bucks, what else are you going to wrap around this thing? But no, for a million large, you get surprisingly little: a Blu-ray drive, 128GB solid state storage, an inbuilt USB stick and MP3 player, a bejeweled (literally, not the game) power button, a self-cleaning screen (sounds gimmicky, Luvaglio) and a motorized storage box. Luvaglio’s keeping mum on everything else, but probably something Intel-derivative at maximum specs. Kind of ridiculous? Yep, but then so is Diamond Barbie.
MORE: Check out Techland’s 2011 Holiday Gift Ideas
Matt Peckham is a reporter at TIME. Find him on Twitter at @mattpeckham, Google+ or Facebook. You can also continue the discussion on TIME’s Facebook page and on Twitter at @TIME.