In an attempt to avoid getting lost in the sea of “Top X Tech Failures” lists this time of year, we’re taking a slightly different approach. Each day this week, Matt, Jared, Graeme, Keith and I will be participating in a Festivus-inspired Airing of Grievances.
Hopefully things will stay at least somewhat tech-related, but you never know. Here’s my list.
Companies That Let You Sign Up for Stuff Online but Won’t Let You Cancel Online
You guys make me sick. Sick! Sirius/XM, you’re the worst offender of all. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve called up to cancel and have either been put on hold forever or disconnected.
Most of the time, it’s both. Signing up for service online was a snap, though! I was up and running in no time.
I figured when my credit card expired in November, I’d be off the hook, but I just logged into my Sirius/XM account and noticed that you somehow changed my card’s expiration date to January 2012. How’d you do that?! It doesn’t actually expire until March 2015. Such magical technology should be used to let me cancel my account online, too.
Sites That Autoplay Non-Muted Video Ads
What’s the matter with you? Do you think anybody likes that? Hey, check out this site! It plays a blaring video ad right when you load it up. Make sure to load it up at work when you have a bunch of other browser tabs open! I applied for the same mortgage three times in a row because of the company’s compelling, autoplaying, non-muted video ad!
Research in Motion
You guys have made people I know very sad, and you’re making Canada look bad. Two CEOs? What’s that all about?
Canada’s a land of great things–Tim Horton’s, The Kids in the Hall, affordable insulin–but you’re running your company with the incompetence and greed of an American company. If you’re going to keep going about it that way, strip a bunch of good features out of the BlackBerry phones you just delayed until late next year, ship them now, then add those features back one by one to new handsets you release on a monthly basis. Call each handset the best BlackBerry ever, and that’s that. Oh, and get better apps.
The Guy Who Stole My GPS
Thanks a lot, jerk. That thing was worth all of $60, but since you broke my car window on a Friday night and every glass replacement company in Boston seemed to assume I could just leave my car on the street until Tuesday–even though the cop said he’d have to tow it–the whole ordeal ended up costing me around $500. Even the dealership where I had my car towed tried to talk me out of it. When a car dealership’s trying to talk you OUT of something, you know you’re in trouble.
All because of a broken window and a GPS unit from 2008. Oh, and you left a set of nice golf clubs and two expensive Patagonia fleeces behind, you moron. Next time I’ll just leave the car unlocked.