My name’s Matt Selman. I write for The Simpsons. Well, I used to. (Strike!) Time.com has awesomely offered me a gig co-blogging on Nerd World. The other guy, Lev Grossman, seems pretty good at it so far. Lev is an actual journalist. He’s intelligent and funny and drinks four big glasses of wine at expense-account dinners. So why …
It’s probably a good thing that the “Dubledore is gay” story is old news. If J.K. Rowling dropped that bomb yesterday, it would be hard to resist writing a bunch of obvious jokes about this entry-level comedy-delivery premise. I mean, a gay wizard? Who could say no to that? It writes itself. I.E. it’s easy. Too easy. But the pull …
I have a confession to make. I love picketing. Every day, I spend four hours walking back-and-forth on a sidewalk in front of 20th Century Fox Studios. Four hours of protesting the movie and TV producers’ corporate greed. Four hours of light, low-impact cardio. Four hours of cool, breezy fresh air. Four hours of cars honking at me …
How do you not buy a magazine with Gollum on the cover? A publication about Gollum is to me what the One Ring is to Gollum himself: a must-have. This being said, the Entertainment Weekly sporting everyone’s favorite Ring-fiend and the headline “Return of the Ring” was a wank. A total wank. No new information about The Hobbit …
Do yourself a favor. Go to the really big movie theater. Put on the grey sunglasses. And see Beowulf as the bards of old would have wanted: on an IMAX screen in 3-D.
Beowulf is so rich in craft and detail that you would think it took a million people a million years to make it. (Maybe it did.) Not only that, but it’s the least …
At Nerd World, there’s a very real mandate to inform the world of nerds about major events in the world of nerd-dom. Well, on Sunday November 18, at 8 PM on Fox, a major nerd event is about to rock your nerd world. An episode of The Simpsons will air, titled “Husbands and Knives,” that has the most inside comic book references of any …
All right, all right. Enough with the Superman is Jewish already. Time just ran “Superman’s Inner Jew,” in which the debate over whether Superman is Jewish rages on. He does seem at least a little Jewish, right? Think about it: if you pronounce “Superman” and accent the first syllable, “Superman” even sounds like a Jewish last name. …
EDITOR’S NOTE: Mr. Selman is on holiday. Please enjoy one of his classic column… article… things. Seriously, don’t you know blogs don’t have editors? That’s why they’re all so great.
Anyway, by now we all know of the tragedy that has befallen Professor Dumbledore. No, not the gay thing. That he DIED. Harry Potter and the …
Okay, I think I have a story here. A news story. Real journalism, not just jokes about what religions superheroes are.*
Here’s the scoop: a bunch of my Hollywood jerk friends have gotten calls from DirectTV offering free High Definition upgrades for their satellite TV receivers. But when the DirectTV guy installs the upgraded HD …
If Ayn Rand liked children’s toys, which she most certainly did not, she would have loved Legos. And if the shovel-faced founder of Objectivism liked amusement parks, which she totally didn’t, she would have adored Legoland. After all, the Atlas Shrugged-y motto of Danish Lego creator Ole Kirk Christiansen was “only the best is good …
In my many years as a writer for The Simpsons, I’ve been nominated for my share of Hollywood honors. So I know well the heart-pounding unease of sitting in the cold audience of an award show, waiting for my category to be announced. That’s why winning my first Spike TV Video Game Award was so memorable. Because instead of sitting …
It was every Hollywood jerk’s worst nightmare: not getting to stand on stage and be handed a statue. Food poisoning had laid me low, and I was going to miss getting my Spike TV Video Game Award. Or was I? Hell no. Boot and rally, as people I hated in college used to say.
I unsteadily made my way to the Video Game Awards, armed with …