Tech

I’ve never really been one to follow comics writers and artists too closely. It’s a pure laziness thing. When all the smart, informed comics fans were like, Chris Claremont’s scripting on the Dark Phoenix saga is so being outstripped by Byrne’s powerful linework, I was all like, when I grow up I’m going to be Kitty Pryde’s boyfriend. …

Saw it last night, and man, what a snooze. I almost would have preferred a Temple of Doom-style catastrophe — this wasn’t even bad, it was just dull. Since not a single other person on the Internet has blogged about Indy 4, I will now enrich world culture by posting my whining complaints (spoilers follow):

I don’t know if you guys have noticed this audio artifact, which is deeply weird, but almost so deeply weird that it kind of necessarily has to exist. In an effort to promote the forthcoming 4th edition Dungeons & Dragons (when did D&D stop being Advanced? Don’t answer that), Wizards of the Coast got the two dudes from Penny Arcade and …

The following is an unedited transcription of one of Matt Selman’s actual eighth grade homework assignments.

Massively comic-book loving
Actively comic-book collecting
That is
The the [sic] avid
Hater of Wonder Woman
Ecch!
Wolverine is a

Super
Exciting
Lawless
Maniac
And
Not nice

Teacher’s comment: “Fun!”

I don’t know about you, but my contact with contemporary X-Men continuity is pretty sporadic. There are so many different media and alternate worlds involved, and there are all these catastrophic events occurring all the time. Every time I even try to figure out who’s in the X-Men anymore I get tired.

Which was why I was relieved the …

Editor’s Note: Matt Selman is busy this week with his commitments to the world of television and movies. In his absence, please execute the following high-concept internet comedy piece: How would the guys who brought you The 40 Year-Old-Virgin, Knocked Up and SuperBad cast and change the plot of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit?

I remember when I interviewed the Homestar Runner guys back in 2003. I was sure they were on the brink of founding a whole Homestar Runner entertainment empire. Christmas specials, parade floats, novelty mudflaps, the works. They were the Charles Schulz’s of the Web. After the interview ran I would get calls from publishers begging for …

On a very overscheduled day I just want to take a moment to raise the possibility — which Ain’t It Cool has already voiced in terms that a clean-living Time writer like myself can only dream of using — that Timur Bekmambetov’s Wanted might signal the Western debut of a major action auteur. Anybody seen it?

I bet I’m the only person on the Internet who made that joke! Looks like the Highlander franchise is getting a reboot, courtesy of two of the guys (there were probably about ninety total) who wrote Iron Man.

I have a special affection for that franchise: I have watched more Highlander-related filmed entertainment than I care to admit. …

I don’t know if I have ever been more baffled by a consumer electronics product than I am by Sony’s Rolly, an MP3 player that sort of rolls around and flashes while it plays music. As of today it can be yours in exchange for 400 Earth dollars.

I cannot imagine how a non-high person could purchase, use, or have invented this object. I …

“Reepicheep, a fearless mouse voiced by Eddie Izzard, is consistently appealing.” — The Wall Street Journal review of Prince Caspian

The White Witch… bit of a slag, isn’t she? Turning Mr. Tumnus to stone was one thing, but you know a girl’s a bitch if she bans Christmas. “No I’d rather not this year. Don’t fancy it. Even thought …