In the Simpsons rewrite room, the biggest compliment you can give to a joke is to call it “Swartzweldian.” Meaning, in the style of legendary Simpsons writer John Swartzwelder. Meaning (to me) uniquely dumb and smart at the same time. Meaning, great.
John Swartzwelder wrote fifty-nine episodes of The Simpsons, including such …
INT. LUCAS RANCH – SCREENING ROOM – DAY (1998)
As John Williams’ classic closing credits theme plays, the lights go up in George Lucas’ private screening room. Our heroes have done it. The fanboys have seen “The Phantom Menace.”
FANBOY #1: What the hell was that?
FANBOY #2: Midi-chlorians? Midi-chlorians!? What — the force is …
I am once again on leave from Time for a few weeks to finish up a book I’m working on. (Do not ever sell a book. A bunch of maniacs will come after you, tear a Word file off your hard drive, and print out like thousands of copies. They claim they can do this because I “deposited” their “check.” Whatever.)
So I will be fobbing off a lot …
An e-mail containing the most astounding news just surfaced in my inbox, still dripping wet from the great oceanic Interweb. Neal Stephenson, author of Snow Crash, Cryptonomicon, etc., you know who he is, has a new novel out this September. It’s called Anathem. Below, lovingly hand-transcribed, is the catalog copy:
Since childhood, Raz
…
Puny Norton,
Please do not make Hulk’s new movie suck. Hulk want new movie to smash box office records, not smash nothing.
Hulk stuff always sucked. Starting with Hulk cartoon, when lady flapper sings “Aint he unglamorous!” in old-time voice. What the Hulk is that?
Then Hulk TV show. Too much puny Bixby, not enough Hulk. Yes, …
I could have split these up and given them their own posts, but that would have required extra effort, and that’s not how we roll at the NW.
Thing 1: You’ve probably already seen this cardboard animation of the light cycle sequence in Tron, but you haven’t seen it here! Now you have. A testament to the power of unshaven French …
I have been to the opera on two occasions this spring. Once to Prokofiev’s War and Peace and once to Wagner’s Die Walkure. This brings to two the total number of times, lifetime, that I have ever been to the opera. Though I have occasionally dabbled in classical music, the opera house is not my natural habitat. But it is possible for a …
I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that you watch all 11 minutes of this. But I don’t see how any true green-blooded nerd wouldn’t want to watch some of it. Dead Fantasy II (there’s also a Dead Fantasy I) is a ridiculous fan film in which the women of Final Fantasy and the women of Dead or Alive kick the crap out of each other in about …
Two datapoints for your consideration:
Digg Recovers a Stolen Xbox. A guy in Philadelphia gets back from SXSW to find that his house has been burgled and his Xbox stolen. He gets a new Xbox and receives a message via Xbox Live asking for a ransom to get his old console back. The message comes from an actual valid gamertag. The guy …
THE STAR WARS EMPEROR’S CLUB V.I.P. — VERY IMPERIAL PALPATINE
Princess Leia — Gold Slave Bikini — 7 Death Stars — 5000 Galactic Credits / hour
Princess Leia — Hoth Snowsuit — 3 Death Stars — 1000 Galactic Credits / hour
Aunt Beru — Tatooine Rags — 0 Death Stars — 5 Galactic Pennies / year
—
SUPERHERO LAIR …
So you’re making Dune. Good stuff, good stuff. Epic story, sandworms, the whole environment angle. Could be a serious thing.
But listen man: you’re a long way from Friday Night Lights here. I know you did Hancock, so you’ve goofed around with some CGI, got some technical chops. But Dune is a toughie. Lot of serious fans, lot of …
