I don’t know if you guys have noticed this audio artifact, which is deeply weird, but almost so deeply weird that it kind of necessarily has to exist. In an effort to promote the forthcoming 4th edition Dungeons & Dragons (when did D&D stop being Advanced? Don’t answer that), Wizards of the Coast got the two dudes from Penny Arcade and …
Nerd Archives — 1984
The following is an unedited transcription of one of Matt Selman’s actual eighth grade homework assignments.
Massively comic-book loving
Actively comic-book collecting
That is
The the [sic] avid
Hater of Wonder Woman
Ecch!
Wolverine is a
Super
Exciting
Lawless
Maniac
And
Not nice
Teacher’s comment: “Fun!”
X-Men Update: Why Am I Always the Last One to Know that the Danger Room Is Sentient
I don’t know about you, but my contact with contemporary X-Men continuity is pretty sporadic. There are so many different media and alternate worlds involved, and there are all these catastrophic events occurring all the time. Every time I even try to figure out who’s in the X-Men anymore I get tired.
Which was why I was relieved the …
Judd Apatow’s The Hobbit (Write-Your-Own Internet Comedy)
Editor’s Note: Matt Selman is busy this week with his commitments to the world of television and movies. In his absence, please execute the following high-concept internet comedy piece: How would the guys who brought you The 40 Year-Old-Virgin, Knocked Up and SuperBad cast and change the plot of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit?
Penny Arcade and Homestar Runner: Now in Convenient, Sanitary Video Game Form
I remember when I interviewed the Homestar Runner guys back in 2003. I was sure they were on the brink of founding a whole Homestar Runner entertainment empire. Christmas specials, parade floats, novelty mudflaps, the works. They were the Charles Schulz’s of the Web. After the interview ran I would get calls from publishers begging for …
The New Name of Action is Bekmambetovioudnwhatever
On a very overscheduled day I just want to take a moment to raise the possibility — which Ain’t It Cool has already voiced in terms that a clean-living Time writer like myself can only dream of using — that Timur Bekmambetov’s Wanted might signal the Western debut of a major action auteur. Anybody seen it?
Book Excerpt: Benjamin Nugent’s American Nerd
Below is an excerpt from a truly excellent book called American Nerd, by Benjamin Nugent. I know Ben — he used to work here at Time years ago. But that’s not why I’m posting this excerpt. I’m posting it because it’s truly excellent.
coronation, or why group nerd events are necessary
From AMERICAN NERD by Benjamin Nugent. Copyright …
There Can Be Only Several
I bet I’m the only person on the Internet who made that joke! Looks like the Highlander franchise is getting a reboot, courtesy of two of the guys (there were probably about ninety total) who wrote Iron Man.
I have a special affection for that franchise: I have watched more Highlander-related filmed entertainment than I care to admit. …
It…Moves
I don’t know if I have ever been more baffled by a consumer electronics product than I am by Sony’s Rolly, an MP3 player that sort of rolls around and flashes while it plays music. As of today it can be yours in exchange for 400 Earth dollars.
I cannot imagine how a non-high person could purchase, use, or have invented this object. I …
Eddie Izzard’s Reepicheep — The One-Mouse Show
“Reepicheep, a fearless mouse voiced by Eddie Izzard, is consistently appealing.” — The Wall Street Journal review of Prince Caspian
The White Witch… bit of a slag, isn’t she? Turning Mr. Tumnus to stone was one thing, but you know a girl’s a bitch if she bans Christmas. “No I’d rather not this year. Don’t fancy it. Even thought …
The Dollhouse Trailer: Science in a House Full of Hot Babes
There’s something a bit half-baked about Dollhouse, the new science fiction series from total genius Joss Whedon. But I can’t tell if it’s a problem with the show, or just an artifact arising from the choppy way the trailer has been cut together. They’re certainly leaning on the sex pretty heavily — do these “actives” (let’s roll …
In the Future We Will All Be Made Fun of on 4chan for 15 Minutes
Shockin’ bloggin’ performance by yrs truly lately. Many apologies. I blame Canada, where I currently am. I came here to speak at a conference, something that I understand many people do frequently; I was doing it basically for the first time. When you go up on stage they clip a wireless mike on you and give you a little gadget that you …