It’s not really called that. It’s called “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.” I don’t know how to feel about it.

Even leaving aside the odious press-release-ese (TWWoHP “brings the stories of Harry Potter to life in a way never before imagined”? Don’t tell me what I have or haven’t imagined you bezoar-eating shill) there’s no way I can get past the fact that I like books and not theme parks and don’t see any earthly need for the latter.

Does that make me a sour middle-aged Harry Potter fan? Whatever, don’t answer that. Here’s the list of “attractions”: