INT. TONY STARK’S LIMO – DAY
TONY STARK: Pull over… right here.
DRIVER: Where?
TONY STARK: At Burger King.
DRIVER: Are you serious?
TONY STARK: Didn’t you hear me say the first thing I wanted after being tortured in the desert by terrorists for three months was a real American cheeseburger?
DRIVER: Yeah, sure… but Burger King?
TONY STARK: Yes.
DRIVER: Let me get this straight. You kept your heart beating with a car battery while risking your life to build a suit of armor with a built-in flame-thrower… so you could eat at Burger King.
TONY STARK: Yes. In fact, I got the idea for the flame-thrower while thinking about Burger King’s great flame-broiled taste.
DRIVER: But there’s an In-N-Out Burger just a few blocks away.
TONY STARK: I want Burger King.
DRIVER: Now that you’re back, is the first car you’re gonna drive a Chevy Malibu?
TONY STARK: What?
DRIVER: Well, that’s like the Burger King of cars.
TONY STARK: Just order the cheeseburger.
DRIVER: Is the first girl you’re going to sleep with Carnie Wilson?
TONY STARK: Order it!
BURGER KING EMPLOYEE: (OVER SPEAKER) Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?
DRIVER: My boss, the smartest, richest, coolest man in the world, who can eat literally anything he wants, has chosen, as his first meal after being a held hostage by madmen in a cave in Afghanistan, a Burger King cheeseburger.
BURGER KING EMPLOYEE: (OVER SPEAKER) Is the first girl he’s going to sleep with Carnie Wilson?
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EXT. SKY OVER LOS ANGELES – NIGHT
Iron Man performs amazing aerial stunts.
IRON MAN: Jarvis, I’m starving. I’m stopping at that Burger King down there for a cheeseburger.
JARVIS: No need sir. Knowing your predilection for great American cheeseburgers, I’ve taken the liberty of opening a microscopic Burger King franchise inside your armor. As we speak, millions of nano-cheeseburgers are being injected into your bloodstream.
IRON MAN: Amazing. Can I get a chocolate shake?
JARVIS: Deploying milkshake enema now.
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EXT. STARK ENTERPRISES – ROOF – NIGHT
Iron Man faces off against Iron Monger.
IRON MONGER: Isn’t it ironic, that a man who loves Burger King cheeseburgers… is being killed by a man who loves cheeseburgers that aren’t terrible?
IRON MAN: Damn you Obadiah Stane!
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AFTER CREDITS SEQUENCE
Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) approaches Tony Stark.
NICK FURY: I’m here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.
TONY STARK: The Avengers Initiative? What’s that?
NICK FURY: Burger King.
