The canonical list of fake Facebook names

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About 18 months ago, a few of my buds and I were ovulating a scheme for something we were calling the Social News Network.

The idea was pretty simple: How could we use Facebook to create a news network? I figured we’d start with a website, baited with news items that were irresistible to Facebookers, who’d then link to them and pass them on. But my friend Seth Goldstein, who runs the ad network,, pointed out that we didn’t need a website at all. You could just drop items into the Stream, as it were, and they’d spread virally from person to person.

Of course, with the steep ramp up of Twitter, SNN was born in deed if not in name. So good thing our idea never got off the ground!

I thought of SNN the other day when I was clearing out some old files and found a “story” that we were going to use to test our idea. It’s a list of fake names my daughter Zoe and I found on Facebook. I have no idea why we thought this would spread to all corners of the earth. We just did.

For the sake of science, I have listed them after the jump.

(WARNING: These are extremely puerile fake names. Some people will even find them in very bad taste and of a sexual or scatological nature. You’re welcome.)

A true and accurate list of fake names of real Facebook users circa January, 2008. Number in parentheses is number of people using that name.

Mike Hunt (500+)

Ben Dover (500+)

Harry Dick (265)

Mike Rotch (177)

Mo Lester (108)

Harry Nuts (74)

Dick Fitzwell (69)

Craven Morehead (57)

Pat McGroin (56)

Howie Feltersnatch (46)

Harry P. Ness (45)

Jock Strap (45)

Anita Weiner (44)

Hugh Jass (40)

Jack Goff (34)

Harry Beaver (33)

Buster Hymen (30)

Jack Mehoff (22)—including Jack Mehoffplese

Sandy Dick (21)

Di Rhea (17)

Mike Sweeny (16)

Jacques Strap (14)

Phil McCrevis (13)

Heywood Jablowme (8)

Ivana Mandic (8)

Tess Steckle (4)

Claude Bawls (2)

Gae Hooker (2)

Anita Bohn (1)

Ben Yankinoff (1)

Dick Israel Small (1 though could be real name. I knew a guy with this name in grade school.)

Fawn Dell Maibalz (1)

Hugh G. Rection (1)

Harold Assman (1)