Ninja Nuisance Can No Longer Be Ignored

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Yesterday a Brooklyn man was attacked by a neighbor wielding a samurai sword. The man apparently escaped with cuts on his head and hands, despite a chorus of onlookers chanting “finish him, finish him!”

This is hardly an isolated incident. Ninja attacks are on the rise. Last month a burglar who invaded a Baltimore home was killed by a Hopkins student wielding a samurai sword. And in Canada — Canada — two men were attacked by an assailant wearing a glove to which he had attached three-pointed blades. The attacker reportedly said, “I am Death.” Fortunately he was not Death, and the two men survived with light wounds.

That proves it. As we say in the magazine world, three examples make a trend. It also proves that I should probably leave the pastiche humor to Selman.