Based On a True Story: I Suck At Sleeping

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I wouldn’t say that I’m sleep deprived. I just have a difficult time falling asleep. I’ve never consulted with a specialist because I honestly don’t think it’s a problem. Once I’m asleep, I’m out like a rock for the rest of the night. Doesn’t everyone have a difficult time falling asleep? Should I consult a sleep expert? Or, you know, I could have a few more cocktails before bed. But the hangovers from nights when I go just a little too far aren’t worth the hassle. Looks like I’m in for a lifetime of involuntary sleep deprivation, which really sucks because I LOVE to sleep. If I could get a job as a professional sleeper I’d be out of here in an instant. Done deal.

But that’s not exactly the situation I find myself in these days. For as long as I can coherently remember, I’ve always struggled with the whole sleeping thing. Except for those times when I crash on friend’s couches at their beach houses where you couldn’t get me to stay up past 10PM. Why is that? Why can’t I have that when I’m at home in Manhattan?

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Regardless of what my situation is, I find myself in a position to test out a couple products that are supposed to help me monitor my sleeping habits so I can fix whatever is wrong. I’ve written about the Sleeptracker watches before and I’ve used it enough to know that it works as advertised. It does wake you up when you’re most active, so you’re not feeling lethargic when the alarm goes off, but I hit the snooze button and go back to bed. It’s highly probable that I didn’t get enough sleep the night before and I’m in no mood to get up whether I’m in an active state of mind or not. The Elite and Pro models allow you to download your sleep data to assist in analyzing your sleep patterns and such. It was never anything I was interested in until Zeo approached me last week to show off their wares.

All I can really tell you about Zeo is that you have to wear a dorky headband that somehow collects and streams data to a bedside dock while you sleep. The whole thing seems is a bit more scientific and anything that gives you ZQ score has to be serious business. It just seems like a much more comprehensive setup than Sleeptracker, but that’s merely an observation based on what it says on the box.

Over the course of the next few weeks I will be pitting these two products against each other. I will adhere to the outlined instructions to the best of my ability. It’d be nice to fall asleep within minutes of hitting the pillow.

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