Video game screenshots are a dime a dozen, and they’re used as carefully parsed-out marketing tools for video game PR.
Instead of posting every screenshot we get, we decided to look at a few of the ones released every week and, in the spirit of box art reviews, make fun of them give our commentary or try to guess what’s happening based on what they show.
Here goes…
Dante’s Inferno (PS3, Xbox 360; February 2010)
I read The Divine Comedy back in high school, so I don’t remember the exact part where Dante smashes a demon in the face with a giant scythe. I gotta re-read that.
Daniel-X: The Ultimate Power (DS, DSi; January 2010)
The “Ultimate Power”? Self-esteem. If only I had powers to defeat Judgment when I was a teenager in high school.
Resident Evil 5: Alternative Edition (PS3, Xbox 360; February/March 2010)
I think this image depicts if Little Red Riding Hood, traumatized by the childhood incident with her grandmother, grew up angry and bitter. So angry and bitter that she took to stripping to get back at whoever sent her to the forest alone, and then, finally enraged and overwhelmed by how her life turned out, goes on a stabbing spree, murdering any human or animal (especially canines) that gets in her way. Or this could be protagonist Sheva in an alternate “sexy” costume killing mutant-zombies and mutant-zombie dogs. Either one.
Resident Evil 5: Alternative Edition (PS3, Xbox 360; February/March 2010)
I didn’t know protagonist Chris Redfield was aspiring to be a member of The Village People.
Super Monkey Ball: Step & Roll (Wii; February 2010)
Okay, so this isn’t a screenshot, it’s holiday wallpaper that was released with screenshots, but I couldn’t pass it up. Sooo… what is going on here? Two evil-looking monkeys dressed as Santa and Rudolph stand over an innocent, sleeping baby monkey as they smile and hold a banana over it. Meanwhile, two happy monkeys stand idly in the background as these weirdos are about to do God-knows-what with that piece of fruit… Happy Holidays!
And readers, feel free to insert your own interpretations in the comments. In fact, I strongly encourage that you do. For the sake of that baby monkey.
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