Zombie of the Week: “Wait Wait … Don’t Eat Me!”

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PETER: Actually, according to my card here, your name is Steve Ryerson, from right here in Chicago! Steve is, or I should say was, an investment banker, and we all know they were the first to be targeted and converted into mindless zombies.

TOM: You mean they weren’t before?

MO: It explains a lot about the financial collapse.

PETER: Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning, Mo Rocca!

MO: Hi, Steve.

STEVE: Brains.

PETER: A humorist and author of the new audio book “It’s Just Like I Told You: Twenty-Five Years of Comment and Comic Pieces,” Tom Bodett!

TOM: Hi there, Steve.

STEVE: Brains.

PETER: And finally, a comedienne whose CD “I Heart Jokes” is available at paulapoundstone.com, at least until the internet fails us, Paula Poundstone!

PAULA: Brains?

STEVE: Brains.

PAULA: I thought you might say that, Steve.

PETER: Steve, you’re going to start us off with “Who’s Carl This Time?” Carl will recreate for you three voices from the week’s news. Your job is to identify them. If you get two out of three right, you win our prize, Carl’s voice on your answering machine. Of course, since civilization is disintegrating around us, we’ll probably be relying on smoke signals for the next generation or two. Here’s your first quote.

CARL: “I am tired of these m-f’ing zombies in my m-f’ing White House!”

PETER: That was a slightly edited version of a quote from which world leader, in response to the zombie threat?

STEVE: Brains?

PETER: No, I’m sorry, it was Vice-President Joe Biden, who went, and we quote the vice-president again, “all Samuel L. Jackson on their asses.” President Obama, meanwhile, defended the West Wing with a functioning lightsaber that the Pentagon had apparently built for him in secret… [More]

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Zombie Wars: Star Wars, Zombified

Zombie of the Week: The Minnesota Zombie Activists

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