Know what’s humbling? To realize I can’t read Chinese. It’s very hard!
If you’ve been waiting patiently for the iPhone 5 and you’ve decided that enough is, indeed, enough, there’s hope! While the rest of your dopey friends argue about whether the new iPhone will come out in August, September, October or at all, you could be busy talking on your very own…
HiPhone 5.
Yep, it’s true. YOU ARE NOT DREAMING. And this isn’t your one-size-fits-all iPhone. This is the HiPhone! That means several styles, colors, features and price points—one to fit your very needs. Let’s explore…
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Would you like it in strawberry red or precious pink? It shall be yours. This is the “5 generations Extreme Limited Editon JAVA” model, folks. Also available in the “5-generation Extreme Edition Limited Edition TV” model—yes! Finally an extreme edition limited edition!
Available for between $36 and $52.
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And for those looking for the ultimate in style, there’s the “Latest-generation mobile phone hiphone 5 / semi-intellectual cottage phone.” Talking Tom Cat says it’s the way to go! Try not to click through the pictures on the product page—the fact that the phone looks different in every one is just for effect.
Available for between $38 and $53.
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Next up, we’ve got the “New hiphone 5-generation dual card standby TV mobile phone free mol”—what a mouthful! Available in a staggering 52 (52!) possible combinations of colors, features, and networks, if you can’t find what you’re looking for here, your name is Bill Gates. Ha!
Available for between $38 and $55.
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If you’re looking for a highly-rated HiPhone, look no further than the “hiPhone 5-generation dual-card dual standby touch screen semi-intelligent b,” which customer “Dream Angel 12593” called, “Very good baby, I like the boss who is also very good patient for me to answer. Future will be to patronize.”
On a serious note, I wouldn’t be surprised if the real iPhone 5 looked like the one in the above photo. But why wait?! This one is…
Available for between $36 and $55.
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Forget 4G speeds: We’re moving straight to 5G POWER! And that’s not all: This model comes with what appears to be your choice of a TV tuner or a “TOM the cat version” in black, red, pink or white. Insanely fast 5G speed and several feature options? Move over wedding day and/or the birth of your first child—this is officially the best day ever!
Available for between $39 and $45.
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[Metrosh.com via Reuters—all images from taobao.com]