Finally, a $3,200 Espresso Machine with a Built-in Fingerprint Scanner

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Hammacher Schlemmer

Sure, you may be well-heeled enough to have your very own top-of-the-line espresso machine, but does yours have a fingerprint scanner? Assuming it does NOT, I bet you find yourself using your inferior espresso machine every morning, yelling, “My kingdom for a $3,200 espresso machine that could biometrically scan my finger, cross-reference said scan with a concoction I’ve pre-programmed into the machine and then brew it all for me?! MUST I MANUALLY CONCOCT EVERY TIME I WANT ESPRESSO AT HOME?!!”

Okay, calm down. Obviously I’ve got the answer for you or I wouldn’t have brought it up.

Please direct your attention to Hammacher Schlemmer’s $3,200 Fingerprint Recognizing Espresso Machine. According to the product description:

This is the espresso machine that scans your fingertip to identify and make your preferred coffee drink. Simply place your finger on the biometric scanner to program the kind of drink, amount of coffee, and strength – the machine will make the specified drink every time you scan your finger.

So far, so good. And for all you coffee snobs out there:

Made in Italy, the fully automatic machine generates 15 bar of pressure and pre-infuses the coffee grinds with water to extract rich, complex coffee with a thick crema. The integrated ceramic burr grinder has eight coarseness settings and grinds coffee only for the drink being made, ensuring optimal freshness. The removable carafe automatically froths up to 20 oz. of milk and dispenses it into the coffee while dual stainless steel boilers keep water at the perfect temperature for brewing several consecutive drinks.

Is that good? I have no idea. It’d better be for $3,200 – those fingerprint sensors aren’t all that expensive nowadays, so hopefully they sunk some money into the other features.

The machine stores up to six fingerprint profiles, which we can all agree makes for the perfect way to take your otherwise shaky relationship with that special someone to the next level. “I haven’t told her I love her yet and I’m not sure I’m even ready to give her a key to my apartment, but I’m thinking of giving her a fingerprint slot in my espresso machine. After five years together, I’m finally ready to make that sort of commitment.”

The Fingerprint Recognizing Espresso Machine []