Angry Birds Go-Kart Racing Game Coming This Year

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I’m about to say something, and it’s not going to be popular: I don’t understand why these birds are still angry. 

Clearly they’re in cahoots with these pigs. Both “sides” have drummed up a phony rivalry, and in the process have sold bajillions of copies of their games.

Now there’s a new game coming out: Angry Birds Go! It’s basically Mario Kart but with the Angry Birds characters, and it’ll be available on phones and tablets. If you want to get really technical, the birds and pigs are racing soapbox derby cars downhill.

But let’s focus on what nobody’s talking about: These birds and pigs are just in it for the money. Please witness in the above video how, at the 15-second mark, the blue triple-bird guy knocks the black exploding bird guy off the track. If these birds were actually angry at the pigs, then WHY WOULD THE BLUE BIRD KNOCK THE BLACK BIRD OUT OF THE WAY?! They’re supposed to be on the same team.

No, instead we have the birds and the pigs at some sort of amusement park together, having the times of their lives racing against each other in go-ka–sorry, soapbox racers. They probably all carpool to the race sites together for all we know. Shameful.

Anyway, the game comes out on December 11 and of course I’m going to get it. You can even buy collectible toy Angry Birds racecars and teleport them into the game to use them there. I probably won’t do that, but I say a lot of things and often end up doing the opposite, so I probably will do that.