BEHOLD THE FUTURE: Dog Translator Available for Pre-order

Don't you sass me, Gilligan.

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Just because you can pre-order something doesn’t mean it’ll be awesome when it’s finally ready. The folks behind the No More Woof dog translator seem to be looking to tamper everyone’s expectations as such, with phrases like “to be completely honest, the first version will be quite rudimentary” and “the more money we raise, the better the chances of creating something truly amazing!”

But to this group’s credit, they did create this choice rocking chair with the built-in iPad dock I wrote about a little over a year ago.

Now it’s on to dogs. The No More Woof Indiegogo campaign is looking to raise $10,000; at the time of this writing, the project’s at just over $7,000 with almost two months left to go, so it looks like this is happening.

The technology itself involves a dog-worn headset that senses EEG activity in the dog’s brain, runs the data through a tiny computer, and renders the thought out as words through a speaker. We’re talking simple stuff here like “I’m hungry, I’m tired, I want to go out, SQUIRREL!”

Here’s a video with more info:


From the looks of it, it’s probably not too much more advanced than what you’re able to glean from your dog already – my dog barks at the door when he wants to go out, barks at his bowl when he wants food, and goes to sleep when he’s tired – but, hey, it’s almost 2014 and we should have dog translators by now, right?

You’ll need to pony up at least $65 to get the lowest-level hardware – “one sensor equipped NMW able to distinguish 2-3 thought patterns, most likely Tiredness, Hunger and Curiosity,” according to the Indiegogo listing. Pay more and you can get versions with better and better features. Fork over a cool $5,000 and you can get the first No More Woof to ship.

No More Woof [Indiegogo via Geekologie]