Star Trek: The Wrath of J.J.

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Sorry about the long absence. I was off in a leafy suburb of Seattle. I leave it to your imaginations what I was doing there. Cough, Bungie, cough.

Apparently while I was out there human genetic diversity declined — nice job, guys, thanks for that — Erfworld continued to rock, and a bunch of Star Trek casting got done. Ain’t It Cool posted the casting specs, which are quite amusing:


[JAMES KIRK] 23-29 Handsome,cocky self assured and earnest. Great physical condition. 6 ft or less

[LEONARD(BONES)MCOY] -28-32 Medic on the Enterprise. Smart, clever and a bit danger-loving. Dark hair, blue eyes.

[UHURA] 25ish -African American. Brilliant, beautiful, heroic and FUN!, Uhura is almost tom-boyish – as if she grew up in a houseful of brothers.

[SULU] 25-32 -Asian American male (preferably Japanese). Helmsman on the Enterprise. Extremely fit, capable and dedicated. A bit of a wildcat

[MONTGOMERY(SCOTTY) SCOTT] -28-32 a brilliant ship’s engineer. Must be able to do a flawless Scottish accent!

Mr. Sulu is “a bit of a wildcat”? Is that what they’re calling it these days?

And who will play the lissome, flame-haired, barely-legal Beverly Crusher? (Yeah, I may have my chronology off on that a bit, but still.) And it looks like Chekov is actually Russian this time. Tough gig — I mean, good God, man, you know where this is going…

p.s. somebody somewhere suggested Firefly’s Nathan Fillion as Kirk: an idea so obviously right and true that you know it’s never gonna happen.